Questioning Why I Reapplied For This Job

You know, I think I'm getting used to this second place thing I've got going. Ever since way back when I applied for this job of mine, I had put down Beede Hall as my top choice (Honors floor, yo) and Mickelson as my second. I got my second choice. Then all of this year it has been second this, second that...reapply for hall placement and I got my second choice (albeit, Beede's not too bad of a second choice).

Now tonight, John asked me who I would want for a co-CA next year. Didn't even have to think twice, I told him my current co Aris. Well fuck  me sideways, he wants to give Aris to Laurel because Laurel nearly didn't come back at the end of last semester, so he wants to give her a really good co. Then I told him that I didn't really want to be with Marcus 'cause I don't think I'd work well with him (His response: 'Well that's good to know'), and then I told him that I would not be co to Joe because, well, he happened to ask me out Friday night (His response: 'Ooooooooh'). We talked it over, and I don't really have a desire to be on an all-girls floor and he has two of the new/semi-new staff girls going on that floor. So basically I'm forced into a corner to work with a guy who I really won't get along with, which I can guarantee you from the start is going to be the case.

Seriously, I hope John takes at least a little pity in me and gives me top choice just this once...I told him my first choice had also been the Honors floor, but that I knew Laurel was going to get that too. And I really do hate to say it, but it really fucking sucks when the Honors floor already went to Laurel, and now I'm going to lose my co to her, too. What am I going to be left with then? Probably 4th floor again, with the perpetual angst that I won't have Aris as my co again when my heart was set on getting him again. It's a toxic combination.

I swear, I'm more stressed out from shit that has nothing to do with schoolwork and it's a bitch. I'm hoping HCB gets his ass in gear and picks a day for lunch or dinner or SOMETHING, I'm just saying. I need a way to wind down, either through doing absolutely nothing or reading or sleeping, I just don't know anymore....