Ugh. I'm so glad it's the weekend, but I still feel like this is a waste. I have too much shit to do.
So what all should I be doing? Well I have two columns I need to edit, I have a reflection to write for my 492 class, and I have French homework.
I also just remembered that our big program is tonight at 9. Shit, and I was hoping I could stay in today. All of my lack of motivation has been because I was up till 5am and didn't want to take a shower at that ridiculous hour. Well now I'm thinking of taking a shower at 6pm, an equally ridiculous hour. I'm used to taking showers at 2 or 3am, plz.
Then for some unknown reason, I not only slept through my TV turning on, but also slept through my alarm going off at 1pm. I never sleep through either of those. And they were set for after having 7 hours of sleep, more than my usual. Amg I'm confused. D:
Now off to be semi-productive. And probably take a shower.
So anyway. I got up at about 2:30, which isn't too bad. But it's weird. And now I'm all lost of motivation. Ugh.
HCB is off training guys in Yankton how to use and maintain the Zambonis. I can't help but giggle at that, of course they'd have to turn to the Canadian for how to properly care for a Zamboni. And even better, they said on the sign that he was trained by the Zamboni Company. Not only legit, but made sense since he was facilities operator. Amggg I feel smart. XD
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Ahh, the Smell of Hockey
I feel all cuddly at the moment, so I figured I would blog. Basically I had a sandwich, got an awesome Dr Pepper (the special one with real sugar), watching SNL & the Toyota all-star race on Speed Channel, and chillin in my comfy chair. I keep going back and forth between smelling hairspray or my new jersey. It's kinda weird, but I like the comforting smell of the jersey. It smells like Yankton, the ice rink, and hockey. I was totally going to try and go for the 18 jersey, because HCB told me the other day that he used to wear the 18 or the 16 when he played hockey. Well that backfired when a parent bidded on the 18, so I went for the unnamed #1. I figured if anything it'd be like pulling an HCB since his soccer jersey is of #1 with his name on the back. Pretty sweet in my opinion. :3
All of it went for donation anyway, cancer association woo! The jerseys are awesome and have pink on them. Even HCB wore them Thursday when they had the table set up, but since he was also wearing his business suit he had a pink tie underneath it. :P
These weren't lucky jerseys, though. We didn't do so hot against ISU, which granted is a pretty big school. After the progress the guys have made so far, we'd been so damn close to winning, and now it felt like a step backwards. I felt bad because Friday's game I didn't talk to HCB--that was due to Sam wanting to go through her plan and I was more than willing to let her. Then Saturday was the auction/big game day, and even then they struggled. I caught HCB when they were finalizing the auction and he wasn't too happy. I thought he'd say more than just hey how's it going, so I asked how he was. Basically he'd shrugged, a lot, and said he had a lot of work ahead of him. I went yeah and just stared at him for a little while....then he finally sighed and said "That was not one of their better games." Then he got a little pissed at one of the players that got a concussion at one of the games against Dordt (a 2.5 concussion on a 4 point scale from what Stephen told me), the player was rough-housing with another kid when he really shouldn't be. I did think it was adorable though when he was able to fake a good attitude when a boy came over asking HCB to sign his puck. :)
I don't like it when he's that frustrated/stressed/sad. It's about 3 weeks in and he's already convinced himself he'll be deported at semester time from grades not making par, and it's tough because he's taking economics and accounting -- math-based classes that he's never done well with. Then with everything else he's got to deal with, it really does suck.
Do I feel disappointed nothing noticeably more will come of us, a little. But I can't deny that I've felt better since I know he wants to stay friends. Mostly because if we stay friends, nothing will change for the worse. I look at it this way: 1) He could've cut off all contact with me, which was my biggest fear. 2) He could say yes to dating, but that would mean he may leave at any time through deportation or boredom, he might be more likely to hide information from me, and it'd be expected to have regular contact when his schedule is busy enough as it is. 3) He could say stay as friends, and we have a mutual understanding. With this last choice, I know that he still trusts me like a friend--meaning that he won't pretend that he doesn't drink too much with me, and will still give me shit for anything and everything. I like the confidence he has with me.
However, as for Sures....no more of him. I can make casual small talk. But don't expect much else from me. Now he's just an ass. >.>
All of it went for donation anyway, cancer association woo! The jerseys are awesome and have pink on them. Even HCB wore them Thursday when they had the table set up, but since he was also wearing his business suit he had a pink tie underneath it. :P
These weren't lucky jerseys, though. We didn't do so hot against ISU, which granted is a pretty big school. After the progress the guys have made so far, we'd been so damn close to winning, and now it felt like a step backwards. I felt bad because Friday's game I didn't talk to HCB--that was due to Sam wanting to go through her plan and I was more than willing to let her. Then Saturday was the auction/big game day, and even then they struggled. I caught HCB when they were finalizing the auction and he wasn't too happy. I thought he'd say more than just hey how's it going, so I asked how he was. Basically he'd shrugged, a lot, and said he had a lot of work ahead of him. I went yeah and just stared at him for a little while....then he finally sighed and said "That was not one of their better games." Then he got a little pissed at one of the players that got a concussion at one of the games against Dordt (a 2.5 concussion on a 4 point scale from what Stephen told me), the player was rough-housing with another kid when he really shouldn't be. I did think it was adorable though when he was able to fake a good attitude when a boy came over asking HCB to sign his puck. :)
I don't like it when he's that frustrated/stressed/sad. It's about 3 weeks in and he's already convinced himself he'll be deported at semester time from grades not making par, and it's tough because he's taking economics and accounting -- math-based classes that he's never done well with. Then with everything else he's got to deal with, it really does suck.
Do I feel disappointed nothing noticeably more will come of us, a little. But I can't deny that I've felt better since I know he wants to stay friends. Mostly because if we stay friends, nothing will change for the worse. I look at it this way: 1) He could've cut off all contact with me, which was my biggest fear. 2) He could say yes to dating, but that would mean he may leave at any time through deportation or boredom, he might be more likely to hide information from me, and it'd be expected to have regular contact when his schedule is busy enough as it is. 3) He could say stay as friends, and we have a mutual understanding. With this last choice, I know that he still trusts me like a friend--meaning that he won't pretend that he doesn't drink too much with me, and will still give me shit for anything and everything. I like the confidence he has with me.
However, as for Sures....no more of him. I can make casual small talk. But don't expect much else from me. Now he's just an ass. >.>
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Questioning Levels of Intelligence
I have a little story. My freshmen suck at throwing away garbage and mistreating the water fountains. To combat the latter, one smartass wrote on my whiteboard, "The drinking fountain still needs a garbage disposal installed in it." In writing that doesn't resemble my own, I responded "Good luck with that! haha"
Gawd, I love not giving a shit. Have to give them props for using proper English, though. :/
This, all after the past two days where:
1) I had to create a poster for our weekend program with my new coworker. He can't even bother himself to remember when our meetings are with the hall director, much less check the email that said hall director just sent out that answers his questions perfectly. AMG. Don't ask me constantly about what the eff we should do. Also, speak up when my retarded multiple personality comes out and can't remember how the fuck to spell condom. Although, based on your reaction, I'm 99.99999% sure that you didn't even notice I had misspelled it until I started tearing the title out of the poster. (Don't worry, it was easier that way.)
2) I had a resident start off a rant by saying "I paid the custodian, I paid with my tuition to have the custodian clean up after me--" Holy fuck, I blocked out the rest of her rant because that was where I just stared looking like this U: 8| :T .....Maybe if she and the rest of the floor would take their own effin' garbage out for once, we wouldn't have this problem. Said Bitchy Face was also immensely peeved because her precious private bathroom on the other side of the door was locked for the day.
3) I was told to come in to the newspaper office to help with editing since the deadline was 7pm tonight. Not only was I not needed, but the opinion editor didn't even have the heart to tell me that I could leave right away. Go away. See, that wasn't so hard, right?
4) Said editor also emailed me later that night to tell me that he wasn't going to be at the opinion meeting, so he was going to have me lead it. Unless the meeting is going to happen at 5:30 when I'm actually able to come in, I won't be able to make it, either. Thank youuu 6pm Astronomy Lab that is impossible to skip! Thanks a lot.
5) My bff informed me that she may not be able to go to the hockey game Saturday because she has another friend whose 21st birthday is the same day and wants her to drive. Might I include the little tidbit that said soon-to-be 21 friend finds enjoyment causing guys to cheat on their girlfriends, then leave them when they're finally available to her. As per the description provided by said bff. Dude, I will fucking pay your way into the game AND for all the gas in the world if that means you'll go with me. I don't really care to scramble for a ride with Dave Roberts and Richardson Co. just to go see the game. But I will if I have to, damnit. D:
I think levels of intelligence would make a fantastic mini-thesis. Relate it to happiness and success and everything. Gawd.....
Gawd, I love not giving a shit. Have to give them props for using proper English, though. :/
This, all after the past two days where:
1) I had to create a poster for our weekend program with my new coworker. He can't even bother himself to remember when our meetings are with the hall director, much less check the email that said hall director just sent out that answers his questions perfectly. AMG. Don't ask me constantly about what the eff we should do. Also, speak up when my retarded multiple personality comes out and can't remember how the fuck to spell condom. Although, based on your reaction, I'm 99.99999% sure that you didn't even notice I had misspelled it until I started tearing the title out of the poster. (Don't worry, it was easier that way.)
2) I had a resident start off a rant by saying "I paid the custodian, I paid with my tuition to have the custodian clean up after me--" Holy fuck, I blocked out the rest of her rant because that was where I just stared looking like this U: 8| :T .....Maybe if she and the rest of the floor would take their own effin' garbage out for once, we wouldn't have this problem. Said Bitchy Face was also immensely peeved because her precious private bathroom on the other side of the door was locked for the day.
3) I was told to come in to the newspaper office to help with editing since the deadline was 7pm tonight. Not only was I not needed, but the opinion editor didn't even have the heart to tell me that I could leave right away. Go away. See, that wasn't so hard, right?
4) Said editor also emailed me later that night to tell me that he wasn't going to be at the opinion meeting, so he was going to have me lead it. Unless the meeting is going to happen at 5:30 when I'm actually able to come in, I won't be able to make it, either. Thank youuu 6pm Astronomy Lab that is impossible to skip! Thanks a lot.
5) My bff informed me that she may not be able to go to the hockey game Saturday because she has another friend whose 21st birthday is the same day and wants her to drive. Might I include the little tidbit that said soon-to-be 21 friend finds enjoyment causing guys to cheat on their girlfriends, then leave them when they're finally available to her. As per the description provided by said bff. Dude, I will fucking pay your way into the game AND for all the gas in the world if that means you'll go with me. I don't really care to scramble for a ride with Dave Roberts and Richardson Co. just to go see the game. But I will if I have to, damnit. D:
I think levels of intelligence would make a fantastic mini-thesis. Relate it to happiness and success and everything. Gawd.....
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Inadvertent Constant Swearing Thanks to Hockey
I don't do well with intense games. And today......hoo boy. That was one intense hockey game. See below.
Holy shit. HOLY. SHIT. This was by far the turning point of the game. For many reasons, even, so we need another list.
1) We are leading 4-3. We are LEADING.
2) We had made the first goal. Then at the end of the first period, we were leading 1-0. The end of the second period, leading 2-1.
3) We're leading with 20 seconds left. 20 SECONDS.
4) 4 points?! That's the most we've scored in a game all year. Record high as of last night has been 2 points in a single game, and now we scored 4. FOURRRRRR!
5) Of course, just 3 seconds later Dordt had scored, too. 17 seconds left, and we're tied again at 4-4. FUCK.
6) Might I also mention we played Dordt the night before, where we not only lost as usual 7-2, but had three guys ejected from the game and one with a misconduct penalty. Their coach was seriously pissed at some points during the game, probably partially for that reason. :3
7) Oh yeah, and most of the team had gone out drinking at Lambda the night before. My comment in that respect, holy crap if that's what it's going to take for them to win a game, then they better be drinking the night before every game!
Gah, last time I was that stressed out by a sports game had to've been 2004. Daytona 500. Now that was stressful, praying to no end that Dale Jr. wouldn't mess up and that he'd win. D:
Also, 5th grade hecklers suck. I actually missed the drunk hecklers, because it's so much more hilarious listening to them yelling 'Drop the bunny', 'Beat State not your wife', and the hilarious 'Him him VERY HARD'! What do we get from frigging 5th graders? "Why are there so many girls at this hockey game? They don't know what's going on..."
Long story short, the game goes into overtime for 5 minutes, followed by a three-shot challenge. No one scored during overtime, and the man-vs-goalie challenge was Dordt's for the taking. Fucking contests...the boys were upset to say the least. I was very well pissed on their behalf. And HCB said they really should've won it, even though it wasn't even their best game.
Granted, I thought they played pretty damn well considering the circumstances, but HCB said their best game was Wednesday's game against SDSU. Still lost 5-2, but he is the Canadian and he knows what good hockey looks like. He even made that comment to my friend Sam and I, that we probably didn't see anything wrong with today's game even though they could've been better.......Shit, I think this means he knows we don't come because we know and love the sport. Haha!
And hey, at least afterwards I got to have a nice little conversation with him. Mostly by catching him as he walks near saying "Hey, what are you doing Monday or Tuesday night?" Which went on from there telling him that we need to do dinner/lunch, because I'm hungry for RED. Ha, I loved his response. "Yeah, definitely. And we have to do it soon, because I'm pretty hungry!" Ahhhh, I love a good play on words. Or situations. Pretty sure it was because the game had started at 4:30, and lasted till 7:30. But it had made me giggle! Then the rest of it was back on hockey, the typical making sure he remembered the night before, such and such.
I think what I love more about our stupid conversations is how he has his animated voice, and his low voice. Typically when it's just the two of us, he talks in his low voice. Then his animated voice comes out from time to time, but tonight about the most noticeable it was had been when he asked if I had been at the Dordt home game, cuz I knew wayyy too much about what had gone down during it. But nope, it had been in his low voice. Which I can't help but add sexy in after the low part. Buuuuuuut that's just me.... :3
And on the plus side, our whole conversation didn't leave too much of a bad impression on Sam! She said afterwards that she thought he was really pretty nice, whereas when I would tell her stories of his/our antics at the North Complex, her and Jean and the other Sam had pinned him as kind of an asshole. But after a while, who isn't from time to time. :P
Then after the game, Sam and I had a grand adventure going to Walmart, figuring out why her windshield wipers had frozen mid-swipe and refused to move, and watching No Strings Attached. Overall, the movie was quite amusing and verrry frustrating at parts. Not a real philosophical watch, but sometimes it's better to have a light silly watch on a late Saturday night. :D
Also, I found fucking Trop-A-Rocka at Yankton's Walmart. Now that was a win all in itself tonight!
Holy shit. HOLY. SHIT. This was by far the turning point of the game. For many reasons, even, so we need another list.
1) We are leading 4-3. We are LEADING.
2) We had made the first goal. Then at the end of the first period, we were leading 1-0. The end of the second period, leading 2-1.
3) We're leading with 20 seconds left. 20 SECONDS.
4) 4 points?! That's the most we've scored in a game all year. Record high as of last night has been 2 points in a single game, and now we scored 4. FOURRRRRR!
5) Of course, just 3 seconds later Dordt had scored, too. 17 seconds left, and we're tied again at 4-4. FUCK.
6) Might I also mention we played Dordt the night before, where we not only lost as usual 7-2, but had three guys ejected from the game and one with a misconduct penalty. Their coach was seriously pissed at some points during the game, probably partially for that reason. :3
7) Oh yeah, and most of the team had gone out drinking at Lambda the night before. My comment in that respect, holy crap if that's what it's going to take for them to win a game, then they better be drinking the night before every game!
Gah, last time I was that stressed out by a sports game had to've been 2004. Daytona 500. Now that was stressful, praying to no end that Dale Jr. wouldn't mess up and that he'd win. D:
Also, 5th grade hecklers suck. I actually missed the drunk hecklers, because it's so much more hilarious listening to them yelling 'Drop the bunny', 'Beat State not your wife', and the hilarious 'Him him VERY HARD'! What do we get from frigging 5th graders? "Why are there so many girls at this hockey game? They don't know what's going on..."
Long story short, the game goes into overtime for 5 minutes, followed by a three-shot challenge. No one scored during overtime, and the man-vs-goalie challenge was Dordt's for the taking. Fucking contests...the boys were upset to say the least. I was very well pissed on their behalf. And HCB said they really should've won it, even though it wasn't even their best game.
Granted, I thought they played pretty damn well considering the circumstances, but HCB said their best game was Wednesday's game against SDSU. Still lost 5-2, but he is the Canadian and he knows what good hockey looks like. He even made that comment to my friend Sam and I, that we probably didn't see anything wrong with today's game even though they could've been better.......Shit, I think this means he knows we don't come because we know and love the sport. Haha!
And hey, at least afterwards I got to have a nice little conversation with him. Mostly by catching him as he walks near saying "Hey, what are you doing Monday or Tuesday night?" Which went on from there telling him that we need to do dinner/lunch, because I'm hungry for RED. Ha, I loved his response. "Yeah, definitely. And we have to do it soon, because I'm pretty hungry!" Ahhhh, I love a good play on words. Or situations. Pretty sure it was because the game had started at 4:30, and lasted till 7:30. But it had made me giggle! Then the rest of it was back on hockey, the typical making sure he remembered the night before, such and such.
I think what I love more about our stupid conversations is how he has his animated voice, and his low voice. Typically when it's just the two of us, he talks in his low voice. Then his animated voice comes out from time to time, but tonight about the most noticeable it was had been when he asked if I had been at the Dordt home game, cuz I knew wayyy too much about what had gone down during it. But nope, it had been in his low voice. Which I can't help but add sexy in after the low part. Buuuuuuut that's just me.... :3
And on the plus side, our whole conversation didn't leave too much of a bad impression on Sam! She said afterwards that she thought he was really pretty nice, whereas when I would tell her stories of his/our antics at the North Complex, her and Jean and the other Sam had pinned him as kind of an asshole. But after a while, who isn't from time to time. :P
Then after the game, Sam and I had a grand adventure going to Walmart, figuring out why her windshield wipers had frozen mid-swipe and refused to move, and watching No Strings Attached. Overall, the movie was quite amusing and verrry frustrating at parts. Not a real philosophical watch, but sometimes it's better to have a light silly watch on a late Saturday night. :D
Also, I found fucking Trop-A-Rocka at Yankton's Walmart. Now that was a win all in itself tonight!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
MAGIC
I have discovered that I have a magical power. All I have to do is mention HCB's name, and BOOM people spill all they know about him. Unless it's Sures of course, but it's an impressive power nonetheless.
How did I discover this power? Well for one, I know it works effectively on staff assistant Nikki. Now tonight, I witnessed this power with Mena, one of our 2nd Beede residents who was also just a little bit drunk tonight. Start up a conversation about the floor pissing off HCB, and she spills all she knows.
Which means I now know where he'd been tonight. Ahhh, so you took your hockey guys out drinking at one of the frat parties, that would explain why Jared was the only one that came back at 2:30am. Which technically made him the first one to come back, because no one else haaaaaaaaas! And I've been here at the desk since 10pm, the moment the hockey game ended.
Ha, tomorrow's gonna be a shitfest to watch, woo! Annnnnnnd I shall make sure to talk extra loud for HCB tomorrow. Because I'm a caring, sympathetic person like that. :D
How did I discover this power? Well for one, I know it works effectively on staff assistant Nikki. Now tonight, I witnessed this power with Mena, one of our 2nd Beede residents who was also just a little bit drunk tonight. Start up a conversation about the floor pissing off HCB, and she spills all she knows.
Which means I now know where he'd been tonight. Ahhh, so you took your hockey guys out drinking at one of the frat parties, that would explain why Jared was the only one that came back at 2:30am. Which technically made him the first one to come back, because no one else haaaaaaaaas! And I've been here at the desk since 10pm, the moment the hockey game ended.
Ha, tomorrow's gonna be a shitfest to watch, woo! Annnnnnnd I shall make sure to talk extra loud for HCB tomorrow. Because I'm a caring, sympathetic person like that. :D
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Midnight Madness
......Actually, not really. I'm just really twitchy and NO ONE HAS BEEN BY THE DESK IN OVER AN HOUR. Let's just say I could really use a bathroom break. :/
On the other hand, good news! SKYE IS ENGAGED!!! I'm so super excited for her, because she was one of my better halves last year. First met in our Intro to Mass Comm class, then were gonna room together spring semester until she found out that she was getting a CA position. Thus, she was my motivation to apply for the job, also. :)
And it's even better because I told her I could see it happening. Back in December when I was venting to her my frustrations with HCB, she was the one that reminded me that nothing's sacred until there's a ring on the finger. And even then, she had doubts that she'd even get that ring from her boyfriend Andrew. I told her she would, I really did!!! Hell, I'm saving that picture of her ring, it's amazing.
On the other hand, good news! SKYE IS ENGAGED!!! I'm so super excited for her, because she was one of my better halves last year. First met in our Intro to Mass Comm class, then were gonna room together spring semester until she found out that she was getting a CA position. Thus, she was my motivation to apply for the job, also. :)
And it's even better because I told her I could see it happening. Back in December when I was venting to her my frustrations with HCB, she was the one that reminded me that nothing's sacred until there's a ring on the finger. And even then, she had doubts that she'd even get that ring from her boyfriend Andrew. I told her she would, I really did!!! Hell, I'm saving that picture of her ring, it's amazing.
Friday, January 14, 2011
In Other News
1) I ran into HCB today! It wasn't for too long since it was just before classes for us, but it was pretty typical. He got in his usual crack about me being crazy, also one about me being one of his stalkers, then we talked about his vacation with the family. I may be crazy, but he has no problem talking about him and his little bro, and how his brother the pilot still managed to get seasick during their cruise. It's not stalking when he hands you the information, you know!
2) Adorable little story about the ice rink where our guys play hockey. Too awesome!
http://www.ktiv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13777054
2) Adorable little story about the ice rink where our guys play hockey. Too awesome!
http://www.ktiv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13777054
What a Predicament
Hmm. Close the door during a True Blood sex scene, or leave the door open and keep the kids just a little bit quieter and a lot out of mischief....
Meh, left the door open.
And I totes got to use the word hell to get my point across tonight. But seriously, when you open the door and there's chunks of pepper in the hallway and some 5 kids hanging out by the bathrooms, your first instinct is to say "Uhh what the hell is that?" Followed with "Well then will someone be nice enough to pick it up?" Feel free to talk about picking up after 10 year olds, but realize that you allllllll are 10 year old little fuckers.
All right, that's an exaggeration, you're 7 not 10. And maybe if you didn't leave dishes in the kitchen, or leave shit in the hallways, or figure out what the fuck a trash can is, then maybe you'll actually make it past the first year of college.....Damnit.
Meh, left the door open.
And I totes got to use the word hell to get my point across tonight. But seriously, when you open the door and there's chunks of pepper in the hallway and some 5 kids hanging out by the bathrooms, your first instinct is to say "Uhh what the hell is that?" Followed with "Well then will someone be nice enough to pick it up?" Feel free to talk about picking up after 10 year olds, but realize that you allllllll are 10 year old little fuckers.
All right, that's an exaggeration, you're 7 not 10. And maybe if you didn't leave dishes in the kitchen, or leave shit in the hallways, or figure out what the fuck a trash can is, then maybe you'll actually make it past the first year of college.....Damnit.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Meh. Part Deux.
Just keep your head up, stay optimistic, stop with the overanalyzing and melodramatic crap...yeah, telling yourself that over and over again doesn't really work.
It's that roller coaster thing again. Basically, I'm losing hope. Again. And it's a cross between saying fuck it all, and just being pleasantly surprised when something happens. It's not like I really want to give up...but I dunno. Even when I have Sures giving me all the encouragement he could give me, teasing me as often as he can about it and everything, I still can't believe him. Not with something like this. Largely because he's not HCB, and I have issues when it comes down to 'he said she said.' I know Sures has good intentions, but I just can't bring myself to hope that much.
And Sures knows that it's HCB and him alone. Side note, Sures is just about as much a flirt as what HCB is, as shown by when he sat down between Alex and me when we were hanging out in Richie/Olson's basement and proceeded to put his arm behind me. I just leaned wayyy to the left and stared at him with big eyes. But mostly leaned away. Which then made him laugh and made some flippant comment about how he didn't want to make HCB feel jealous....only one of the times of him joking that HCB likes me. But I still don't know what to say about it.
The thing is, my shyness is proving to be a lot more difficult to overcome than I thought it'd be. And because of that, the questions start creeping in about whether or not this will all be for naught. If I really wanted to be optimistic, I could overanalyze the shit out of hey, maybe he hasn't said anything because he's a guy, and guys are just as afraid of rejection as girls. On the other hand, he really doesn't seem like one to have this shyness. He's shown he has no problem with approaching women. Does that mean I wouldn't put it past him? Oh hell no. I think he's entirely capable of having his shy times, because he's let me in on some of his other insecurities. He can be entirely full of himself most times, but he's insecure about his weight like crazy. So therefore, I believe he's capable of feeling shy, too.
But then again, it usually comes down to damn it, make some sort of contact. Regardless of past evidence, I never saw him at all hours of the day when he was living in the dorms; now that he's out, I'll be lucky if I run into him at the MUC. And right now, I feel like I'm putting a lot more effort into contacting him than he is of me. Would I hold it against him, no. And if I really thought about it, he very possibly initiated a few more texts than I did because of the times he asked whether I could edit something for him, check mail, whatever. However, it was only if he wanted/needed something.
Not to mention he gets on edge if you text him about random stuff. He's given me crap for it in the past, so he doesn't get it any longer. :P
It's that roller coaster thing again. Basically, I'm losing hope. Again. And it's a cross between saying fuck it all, and just being pleasantly surprised when something happens. It's not like I really want to give up...but I dunno. Even when I have Sures giving me all the encouragement he could give me, teasing me as often as he can about it and everything, I still can't believe him. Not with something like this. Largely because he's not HCB, and I have issues when it comes down to 'he said she said.' I know Sures has good intentions, but I just can't bring myself to hope that much.
And Sures knows that it's HCB and him alone. Side note, Sures is just about as much a flirt as what HCB is, as shown by when he sat down between Alex and me when we were hanging out in Richie/Olson's basement and proceeded to put his arm behind me. I just leaned wayyy to the left and stared at him with big eyes. But mostly leaned away. Which then made him laugh and made some flippant comment about how he didn't want to make HCB feel jealous....only one of the times of him joking that HCB likes me. But I still don't know what to say about it.
The thing is, my shyness is proving to be a lot more difficult to overcome than I thought it'd be. And because of that, the questions start creeping in about whether or not this will all be for naught. If I really wanted to be optimistic, I could overanalyze the shit out of hey, maybe he hasn't said anything because he's a guy, and guys are just as afraid of rejection as girls. On the other hand, he really doesn't seem like one to have this shyness. He's shown he has no problem with approaching women. Does that mean I wouldn't put it past him? Oh hell no. I think he's entirely capable of having his shy times, because he's let me in on some of his other insecurities. He can be entirely full of himself most times, but he's insecure about his weight like crazy. So therefore, I believe he's capable of feeling shy, too.
But then again, it usually comes down to damn it, make some sort of contact. Regardless of past evidence, I never saw him at all hours of the day when he was living in the dorms; now that he's out, I'll be lucky if I run into him at the MUC. And right now, I feel like I'm putting a lot more effort into contacting him than he is of me. Would I hold it against him, no. And if I really thought about it, he very possibly initiated a few more texts than I did because of the times he asked whether I could edit something for him, check mail, whatever. However, it was only if he wanted/needed something.
Not to mention he gets on edge if you text him about random stuff. He's given me crap for it in the past, so he doesn't get it any longer. :P
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Why This Was An Awesome Day of Awesomeness
And yes, this will probably be another list day.
1) Woke up this morning and went shopping. Shopko wasn't in a backpack-selling season, so that backfired. But we did get little Chloe's blanket shipped on its way to Miami now!
2) Come home, and what arrives? Psych and True Blood, FINALLY! So Mom and I had a Psych Season 4 marathon. This semester's goal, get together with Ashley and demand that we have our Psych marathon. Yessssss....
2.5) Spent part of the afternoon exchanging comments with my cousin Faith. Interesting story there, I haven't seen/talked to her since, oh, 2006. About the same goes for the rest of the family on my mom's side. And who randomly added me on Facebook? Faith. I couldn't resist but leave a nice little message that day saying I've missed her, lulz. This afternoon's conversation included school and super cute hockey boys. It's like long lost twins....bahaha! :D
3) Go out shopping again at the mall. Trade Secret didn't have the dry shampoo I wanted in, but I got three new books at Walden's, woo! One was previously chosen at Shopko but didn't want to go through checkout with just one item. Second was a new book by Stephanie Rowe, who I discovered at Last Stop CD Shop and kinda love her sense of humor...albeit being rather strange, but it's a fiction book, come on! Third was one that was totally random. Was looking at titles blindly, saw this one with an angel-looking dude on the cover, read the back and went 'Meh, let's try it.' It's a thick one and the first in its series, so we'll see if it was worthwhile.
4) Run into our resident Jarrad at one of the kiosks. Gah, he sucked me in on the whole perfume & cologne stuff. So we talked about how long the expensive but amazing shit lasts, and thank gawd HCB is a sucker for cologne. If anything, we know we can sucker him into it. Long story short though, Jarrad gave me three strip samples that I'm now going to use as bookmarks. My books are already smelling FANTASTIC from being in the same bag as those strips.....nah, that didn't sound strange at all. >.>
5) Had ribs at Ruby Tuesday tonight, also. Always amazing, amg. :) Such a highlight, that it only needs this very short blip.
6) Multitasking is my friendddd, particularly when managing some 4 conversations at the same time on Facebook. Which included one conversation about Chinese people; one about whether we could trust O'Gorman kids and when John was going to kill Dan in his sleep; one involving getting the courage to talk to HCB via annoying FB chat; and finally, yes getting the nerve to bother HCB, which turned into a conversation about how much drinking he did during break.
Ironically, the 'ya for sure' part wasn't what made me just a little bit giddy/amused. The most amusing part to me was that he sounded exactly like Aaron, saying he felt old. The again part just makes me giggle a little bit harder, but it's hearing him say that he felt old that made me think of Aaron and every time he says I make him feel old because I'm graduating, or entering college, or something.
And yeah, I'm pretty proud of coming up with the oops, you're still here, sorry! bit. Damn, I have a strange sense of humor... :P
7) Then there was this: http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-Watch-hockey-puck-split-in-half-on-shot-o?urn=nhl-303913
Why yes, I'm also proud that this was our SuFu Stampede team!! Even if we lost. But I'm used to that by now. And besides, it was against Sioux City. And guess who's the 14th drunkest city in America....Congrats, Sioux City. You still don't smell any better.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Impatient Little Me
1) Who just paid 60 bucks for an entire semester's worth of textbooks? Meeeeeeee!.....Of course, this will probably backfire when classes start up because two of my classes have yet to actually enter in what their textbooks are. Damnit. But ahh well, it's only two classes and will hopefully only require one per class. Hopefully. Crossing fingers...
2) I've yet to get Psych and True Blood in the mail yet. I am pissed. It said they would arrive between Dec. 31 and Jan. 5. Normally my packages arrive on the earlier side, regardless of whether it's USPS or UPS. And even if there was a holiday, it only cuts out the 1st & 2nd, so logically the three of the five days that have gone by were perfect options. Tomorrow's the last day, and then Target's getting a pissy email. >.>
3) I'm not a fan of the creepers. You know, that one guy who you haven't spoken to in forever, then at 2 in the morning says hello on Facebook chat. I feel retarded as it is for not removing the creepers, but they aren't doing any harm....just leaving random hello's at awkward hours of the night. Never the daytime, only at night. And don't think I've forgotten about you, creeper who added me all because I commented on a friend's status about Dr. Who. >.>
4) It feels weird to admit, but I kinda sorta miss him.
5) Speaking of which, Dr. Who scarf has commenced well so far, save for a couple mishaps. The first chunk of purple may be backwards from the rest, but in a classy way. It's also a good inch or two wider than it should be, but I was too lazy to account for the thicker yarn and needles. There comes a time where you just say screw it, I'mma gonna make it my way. :3
6) Finally, I want VS to finally stock their website with their pretty wine plaid coat. The website stalking is getting a little tiring, ya know....plus I'm not awake in the mornings to check. I'm afraid I may have already missed out on one opportunity for the XS size because I wasn't awake before noon. D:
Okay, I think I'm done. :)
2) I've yet to get Psych and True Blood in the mail yet. I am pissed. It said they would arrive between Dec. 31 and Jan. 5. Normally my packages arrive on the earlier side, regardless of whether it's USPS or UPS. And even if there was a holiday, it only cuts out the 1st & 2nd, so logically the three of the five days that have gone by were perfect options. Tomorrow's the last day, and then Target's getting a pissy email. >.>
3) I'm not a fan of the creepers. You know, that one guy who you haven't spoken to in forever, then at 2 in the morning says hello on Facebook chat. I feel retarded as it is for not removing the creepers, but they aren't doing any harm....just leaving random hello's at awkward hours of the night. Never the daytime, only at night. And don't think I've forgotten about you, creeper who added me all because I commented on a friend's status about Dr. Who. >.>
4) It feels weird to admit, but I kinda sorta miss him.
5) Speaking of which, Dr. Who scarf has commenced well so far, save for a couple mishaps. The first chunk of purple may be backwards from the rest, but in a classy way. It's also a good inch or two wider than it should be, but I was too lazy to account for the thicker yarn and needles. There comes a time where you just say screw it, I'mma gonna make it my way. :3
6) Finally, I want VS to finally stock their website with their pretty wine plaid coat. The website stalking is getting a little tiring, ya know....plus I'm not awake in the mornings to check. I'm afraid I may have already missed out on one opportunity for the XS size because I wasn't awake before noon. D:
Okay, I think I'm done. :)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Such a Lovely Start to the New Year
Migraines suck. Particularly the part where I feel like stabbing myself in the forehead.
Anyhow, it's been quiet around here. Which is both extremely nice, and slightly sad. It's never fun when you don't feel productive, but I just keep reminding myself that this nothing time will disappear when I have to go back to Verm, so I'm taking advantage of it.
I don't like roller coasters. This migraine is kinda like a roller coaster, where I'm good for a time, then I have to curl up on the couch and just press my forehead against something hard. The roller coaster thing is back again with HCB. It's just so damn difficult between all of the good signs and the not-so-good signs. I also hate grabbing at straws, and I feel like the overanalyzing is going to put me over the edge. I've got everyone from all directions telling me that there are good signs. Sures is telling me not to doubt myself, my neighbor telling me that there's good chances....and for some reason these are the two that I trust the most. Sures is a good mutual friend, and my neighbor Aaron...well, Aaron's basically the slightly older (and married) version of HCB. If anyone knows the way HCB thinks, it would very likely be Aaron. So when he says that if HCB was willing to go for lunch when he's feeling like crap, then he'd be willing to go when he's feeling good...then I really should listen to him.
But it's still difficult as hell. I'm still afraid of competition that I can't stand up against. And it's nothing but a waiting game until HCB is back from break before I can even attempt to ask at another lunch.
I really, really hate waiting. :/
Like waiting for Psych season 4 and True Blood. Those would make the week go by faster, but noooo those haven't come yet. And still waiting for that coat to come back in stock so I can order it. Damnit.
Anyhow, it's been quiet around here. Which is both extremely nice, and slightly sad. It's never fun when you don't feel productive, but I just keep reminding myself that this nothing time will disappear when I have to go back to Verm, so I'm taking advantage of it.
I don't like roller coasters. This migraine is kinda like a roller coaster, where I'm good for a time, then I have to curl up on the couch and just press my forehead against something hard. The roller coaster thing is back again with HCB. It's just so damn difficult between all of the good signs and the not-so-good signs. I also hate grabbing at straws, and I feel like the overanalyzing is going to put me over the edge. I've got everyone from all directions telling me that there are good signs. Sures is telling me not to doubt myself, my neighbor telling me that there's good chances....and for some reason these are the two that I trust the most. Sures is a good mutual friend, and my neighbor Aaron...well, Aaron's basically the slightly older (and married) version of HCB. If anyone knows the way HCB thinks, it would very likely be Aaron. So when he says that if HCB was willing to go for lunch when he's feeling like crap, then he'd be willing to go when he's feeling good...then I really should listen to him.
But it's still difficult as hell. I'm still afraid of competition that I can't stand up against. And it's nothing but a waiting game until HCB is back from break before I can even attempt to ask at another lunch.
I really, really hate waiting. :/
Like waiting for Psych season 4 and True Blood. Those would make the week go by faster, but noooo those haven't come yet. And still waiting for that coat to come back in stock so I can order it. Damnit.
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