Over Before It Even Began...

I hate being the good person. Not all the time, but most of the time. I can't just tell Skye that I hate it she got her CA position and won't be my roommate anymore. It's just plain mean, but at the same time, it's tearing me up inside that she won't be my roommate after all. We were both looking forward to it so much, but when money gets thrown in the mix....gah. I can't be mad at her for choosing it, hell I would hate to have to make the decision for her. But still...

I don't think any Monday has brought good news. Last week, Mollie had her laptop stolen. Fuckin' A, that sucked. And now this news, this sucks too.

Do I like having this room to myself? Hell yes. But it's not worth $600 for it. And I don't want them to try so fucking hard to room me with someone. So I'm so confused and indecisive right now....

It would be cool to room with Mariah, but we have such different sleep schedules that I'm afraid I'd end up waking her up all the time. It would be cool to room with Sarah too, but I don't know her all that well personally....then again, she's so sweet, and I think if I have the attitude that I should be more accommodating, I would be. This first semester, I was so annoyed by Keather that I wanted to make sure she knew I lived here, too. But if I roomed with Sarah, it wouldn't be nearly as bad. I know she won't go out and drink, and she has the Honors attitude even if she doesn't get in...I think she would fit in pretty well.

I would just hate to turn into the megabitch again and freak on anyone. Because I know it would happen when I'm stressed about something. :/

Baby, It's Cold Outside...

No, literally, it's COLD. I'm not a fan of cold. And yet I adore the idea of winter, and Christmastime, and snow. Key word: idea. Christmas I can embrace, but the snow and cold I could do without. But that's what we get with winter.

Speaking of Christmas...my dorm room has a small touch of Christmas! I went Walmart shopping with Sam and Jean, so we got a bunch of garland and lights to decorate. I got some pretty awesome garland to wrap along my bed, but I kind of wish I could just go all-out. Maybe I can get some more soon. Sam's room is amazing though, I helped her decorate it Monday night. Garland along the ceiling, lights along the bed, and even a small Christmas tree under Mollie's bed. Success! Then we listened to Christmas music while we decorated. :3

I also adore Trans-Siberian Orchestra. To the point I really need to stop mentioning them period.

At least this week was not as stressful as I thought it would be, but I think that's because I put everything off till this week. Bad idea, but I'm hoping it works out. I thought I had a column to write this week, but since Heather didn't send me an email about it at all, it's one less thing for me to worry about. And if I do, well then I have an idea that I could probably roll out quick.

I really wish I could just curl up in a corner and read. I've been trying to get through Up in Smoke, but I haven't really had the time. Also, I noticed today that my book is getting kind of worn down--that white line where the book bends often is prominent now, and there's a small tear in the back cover. It makes me cry inside, I love having my books in the best possible shape. Gah...I guess I'll have to combat this OCD moment and get over it. But still, I want to read it, not do all this stupid studying.

So for this next week:

• I have to go back to campus early, by 3 pm Sunday. I'm depressed about it, but we do need to work on this group presentation for speech. Ours is on Friday, which is a definite plus. Downside, I don't like going back so damn early. :/
• Sunday night, I have an Honors Association meeting that I'll most likely forget about at 8. I don't like meetings on Sunday nights either, but as I completely spaced on the Execs Only meeting last week (oh, Adam Lambert, you...) I really should make an effort to come this time around.
• Wednesday is our first Student Advisory Board meeting. Finally, something I have been looking forward to!
• Our Project 4 reports are due Tuesday for Survey of Business, and I'm slowly in the process of editing them. After a couple hours of crying, I got a good portion done (I hope). However, we also need to do the group presentation on Thursday. Speech presentation Friday, this presentation Thursday...thanks spacing those so close.
• Thursday is our Final test in Rock & Roll Appreciation, also. Business presentation at 2 pm, and a Final at 3:30. Great, even more shitty time crunches. :/
• Friday is when our Final papers are due in Mass Comm, too. PLUS our final test in that class. Final test and presentation Thursday, presentation Friday with a Final paper AND last test. I plan on dying during those final days.

As you can see, I should probably be screaming right now. Never have I wished for a Dead Week so badly as I want one now.

All I want to do is put up our Christmas tree here at home. Sigh...

Too Much

I don't want to go back to college quite yet.

Thanksgiving was so nice, it really was. Not as many relatives there as I would've wanted, but that's what happens when the cousins get married and start having to share holidays with the in-laws. :P Then I got to spend a lot of time with my family, do some shopping, ahh...it was amazing. I even ran into Kayla & Katie at Target the other day!

And now, I have to face reality again in a couple hours. I have a speech tomorrow morning at 9 AM that I'm so not prepared for. Even less prepared than I was for my informative speech.

On top of that first hurdle, we have exactly a week to prepare for a group presentation in speech, plus a group presentation in survey of business a couple days later. In those short few days, I also have a student advisory board meeting, AND an honors association meeting. Shit, now I know why I hate finals.

Speaking of which, I also have a final paper for mass comm on the 11th and a final test in rock & roll appreciation on the 10th. FML.

I'm going to be one BA bitch the next two and a half weeks.

Fuzzy Little Animals

Really? It's been 13 days since I last blogged? This is a bad situation, I must say.... :P

But, I digress. I like to blame it on the fact that as an opinion columnist, all my conversational topics are stolen and used for the newspaper, which means my writing here is left on the backburner. Bah, ahh well.

As for right now, I'm chilling in Jacob and Andrew's room watching The Soup. I've sort of become a third roommate apparently, since I spend so much time in here with them. But it's one of the few places I feel comfortable escaping to after classes. My own dorm, with Keather coming and going...it's just not the same. I'm really hoping she has another friend she wants to room with, because honestly, I don't want to go on like this.

Homework's been weak lately. Wednesday was crazy, so I think I'll have to spend some time this weekend explaining things. Lately I've had actual, tangible time to do things, so I've been reading Playing with Fire. Hells yeah! Now thanks to the book, I've got a fetish for dreadlocks, fire and dragons. :3

I guess I'm starting to stress a little with speech. It's a lot to take on, and for some pretty major speeches, we haven't put much effort into them. As in we have to take the initiative a whole lot more than high school. Which isn't a bad thing, but at the same time, there's no direction. We've in fact had no direction at all with our group speeches, too, and that is yet another thing I'm stressing with slowly. But oh well, it'll get done. :/

I believe I'm heading off to take a shower now. I'll be booted from the guys' room by 1:30 anyway, stupid boys making up bedtimes... :P Plus I need a shower. Thank God I don't have speech tomorrow (or should I say today...?), so I can sleep in. First class instead will be Calc at 11! :D

Happy Halloween Quiz?

I can't believe I'm stooping so low... :P Not really, but honestly, I'm taking a Facebook note quiz and putting it on what is supposed to be my entirely-original blog. Ahh well. And there's only ten minutes left of the 7-hour Ghost Adventures Live marathon tonight, sad. :/

TEN things I wish I could say to 10 different people:

1. You'll always be my best friend. We've already done it all before in the first place. Church was what held us together as we became best friends, and at that time we might not have seen or heard from each other for months. Then high school came, and our friendship grew even larger because we were able to see each other nearly every day. I really enjoyed that. And now we're back where we started, at different colleges in completely different towns. But that's all right, because I remember when we were little and the only time I saw you was at church--if we were there at the same time. :P I know how often you and Keather talk on the phone, and I'm cool with that. Sometimes I think otherwise, but I am, because I know how insecure she is and needs that sisterly bond with you--even if she treats you like shit half the time, and when she does, you know you can come to me. I'll always be here, ready to listen. I love you, and God bless! :)

2. Yes, I called you insecure. It's why you asked to room with me. It's why you constantly bring boys around to our room, or constantly hang out with them--NOT because you have this godawful idea that you "think like a guy". Ohh, the dozens of reasons I can list off that prove you most definitely DON'T think like a guy. You don't even connect with guys more, you're just overly protective of your guy friends for fear that you'll be single while everyone else is taken. Have fun with Reid while it lasts, because I'm counting down to your expiration date of 3 weeks. Maybe a month if he's really lucky. Just remember, I'm the one independent enough to live without a man by my side 24/7. And I want a new roommate.

3. I believe this can apply to many people...Thank you for all the kindness you've shown me. I never did get to know you all personally, and I think the time I got to spend with you all was too short. Wyatt always asked why we didn't hang out with my friends more often, but he took for granted the good thing he had right there--I didn't want to waste this chance. And I was proven right--you have all been kind and curteous to me when Wyatt wasn't around, and I've had some awesome conversations with you. Your kindness has touched me deeper than any other mere acquaintance, and I thank you for that.

4. One particular person in #3...Wow, B&N. You have no idea how red my face was after talking with you for so long. Partially because when I thought back to what we talked about, I felt like I made a fool of myself, but that's cool because it's just me and my thing...but I also wanted to get to know you more after talking with you. You're amazing, you truly are, and I'm sad that I ended up dating Wyatt instead of you. I believe I can learn even more from you, and I wish you luck in your academic ventures. Aka college. And of course, I wish you luck with life in general. :)

5. I miss our open lunch trips to Subway my junior year of high school. I really do! Now every time I go to Subway, I think of that. Including how it became a deal where if it's raining outside, we have to go to Subway--and not the closest one to campus, but the one down near your house on 69th and Minnesota. I miss you, and I hope you're having a blast in college!

6. Dude...you're pretty awesome. I'm glad you let me chill on your futon during most of the night, and I hope my nearly-constant presence doesn't annoy you. But that doesn't mean that I won't stay out of your comfy chair. Haaaa! You're a bit narrow-minded in thought, but that's all right, because I'm not dating you, lol. But overall, I hope you find peace in your later years.

7. For just about anyone who's been friends with me....thanks for tolerating me, lol. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, and I certainly do have my quirks. But thanks for sticking around with me, it really means a lot. :)

8. I know I'm a silly freshman and all, but I really appreciate the effort and understanding you've shown me since I joined the Volante. I can be very frustrating to work with sometimes, but I've been making an effort to turn my columns in on time, or at least as soon as I possibly can. I've also been doing my best to write worthwhile columns, which is probably one of my largest concerns. But overall, you've become a big influence on me, and I really look up to you. Thanks for being here for me, and I hope I never let you down. :)

9. I pity you, cuz. You can do so much better than my ex. He doesn't even live in Sioux Falls anymore, he's over 1,000 miles away in UTAH. And he asked you out when he knew that you wouldn't be able to actually date for very long--can you spell fling? Sure, you still may be in this "relationship", but it's only a title now. A title used to boost his ego, which was bruised too often as a child. All I can say is...you give Ignorance is Bliss to a whole new level.

10. Last but not least....you're an asshole. Plain and simple. And I'm sad to admit it, but I do regret dating you. You did nothing but take from me, and when you threw me away, you led me to believe you still loved me months after breaking up with me. You didn't have the balls now to tell me the truth, and you never will. You didn't even have the balls to break up with me to my face, you did it over the phone and over a fucking Facebook message. I can't believe that I myself thought that I deserved an overly-liberal atheist who will never comprehend the true meaning of love. To quote Seether, "You're such a fucking hypocrite." So fitting, because you've proven to me so often how much of a hypocrite you really are. And don't cry about how you don't deserve these harsh words, because you've done more than enough to deserve every fucking ounce of pain you've gotten.

NINE things about myself:
1. I love writing, but only if I want to voluntarily. Otherwise I despise it a little.
2. Psychology is a truly fascinating subject for me.
3. I will listen to just about any genre of music, except rap. Hip-hop, I'm selective.
4. Romance is my favorite book genre, hands-down.
5. I actually don't watch many movies.
6. My laptop is my baby, I love it. :)
7. I pretty much adore my Coke or Dr Pepper.
8. I adore the floor I ended up on at USD, 2nd floor Beede! :D
9. I have many little hobbies that I enjoy. Always a new project to start, and most likely not finish. :P

EIGHT ways to win my heart:

1. Dr. Pepper. :D
2. Don't be afraid to cuddle. It's mandatory during horror/thriller flicks.
3. Whipped cream
4. A sense of humor
5. Restraining yourself from making fun of Nascar.
6. HONESTY
7. The ability to write complete sentences.
8. Making an effort, no matter how small or big.

SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:

1. I don't want to do this.
2. I have the whole dorm to myself, I love this!
3. Ok, I need to cut back on the soda...
4. Wow.
5. Why the hell am I single?
6. Why am I hungry, I just ate a little while ago...
7. I'm tired.

SIX things I do before I fall asleep:

1. Take a shower
2. Check Facebook
3. Finish any last-minute homework
4. Read a book (if I'm lucky)
5. Plotting.
6. Set my phone alarm (still don't like actually needing an alarm)

FIVE people [or groups of people] who mean a lot:

1. Chantel
2. Kayla
3. Tejiah
4. The new friends I've made in college!
5. Keith, Connor, Robs, Jolene, Nicole...the list goes on. :)

FOUR things you're wearing right now:

1. Comfy pair of jeans
2. An old light green Wild Ride shirt
3. Underwear?
4. A Band-Aid from the second Hep B shot I got today :P

THREE songs that you listen to often: [Currently]

1. Time for Miracles, by Adam Lambert
2. Fake It, by Seether
3. Paparazzi, Lady Gaga (damn you for being so catchy...)

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. Get married to someone who loves me.
2. Exceed my expectations.

ONE confession: I've only been kissed by one boy in my life. I'd really like that to change, then I can say I've only been kissed by one man and forget the first.

Time for Miracles

I love the title of this, I had to go back and watch Adam Lambert's new music video for 2012...I will totally watch that just for him. :3 But I still might want that male support....I refuse to watch any movie like Saw in my single status. I need something to cling to as I watch. But Adam Lambert is fucking hot in his dirty, sexy way of his in the video. Yessss....

Ahh, the weekend couldn't have come at a better time. I was up till 3:30 AM Friday morning because of this annotated bibliography for honors speech...It was so crazy. But thankfully I had Jean and Lizzy there with me, and that bag of popcorn we had at 1 AM. :)

So, I've been surviving a whole Friday with four hours of sleep. I would feel happy about it, but I'm not. Thank God it's the weekend, because I could really use a break. Plus the homework is pretty light this weekend, sweet.

Not much to report, though. I've been having fun studying with Jean and Jordan, I like chilling in Andrew & Jacob's room when I want to get away, and the week as a whole has been pretty blah. The homework's slowly trickling back, that's about it. However, I don't have mass comm at all next week, so I get to come home super early Friday, yay! Only downside is not getting to sit with the group in the front row....I like how I've sort of fused with this group, the group. And everyone's awesome to hang with, even though Brandon doesn't talk a lot and Ben talks too much...or at least doesn't say anything of substance. We've gotten the gist that "Books are cool," and that he forgets he's holding onto things from time to time. Speaking of Brandon.....if I get the nerves to talk about him here, I'll do it. Just not now. Maybe not ever, who knows. God, I hate my shyness...

I'm starting to realize a flaw in my design. So many people have told me "Oh, you're adorable!"....You see the problem here? Who the fuck wants to date someone they find adorable? They want to date someone they find sexy, attractive...adorable is that boxful of kittens they show on TV, or a puppy with a little bow. Or it appears on www.cuteoverload.com. NOT in a significant other. /facepalm. What the hell is wrong with me...

Another plus to the weekends, though. I finally have time to read.

And I'm really almost sad, I haven't seen Chantel since we both moved into college, and there's not much of a reason why we haven't....I've tried, but I dunno. And I hate it that I'm the one that has to initiate a "hello" from Keather when she walks it, it can't be that hard for her to do it herself. Sometime, I will test that theory, that the one time I don't say hi to her when she walks in, she won't do it. It really can't be that hard to put some effort into simple stuff like this... :/

I'm going to take this as a sign that I have to go take a shower and catch up on sleep now.

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

I've been stressed beyond belief the past few days, it's crazy. Honestly, usually I can handle a test or two at a time.

Monday, I had three.

Wasn't supposed to have three, originally it would have been just one--Mass Comm. But the speech midterm was moved from Wednesday to Monday, and my Calc test was moved from Friday to Monday also. Plus, on top of these three tests, I had a Survey of Business test today. Holy shit, I've never been happier to not have a test coming up...

So, let's start with that. Sunday night, I spent the night studying with Jean for our speech midterm. It was quite enjoyable, even though I was up till 1 studying with them. Monday was freaking test day, so I tried to study quick before class started, then took the test. Wow, I'm really hoping I did all right on that multiple choice portion, because that essay part killed me...afterward, I studied for Calc. Barely finished that on time, and the last problem was a big struggle (primarily how to label it). Don't know why, but ah well. I just hope I did well on that test, too. Afterwards I ate quick, went to Honors Experience and talked a bunch, then had the mass comm test. That wasn't so bad, but it was definitely more difficult. I'd say it's because I had so little time to study for it, that really sucked. But I survived, and that's all that really matters. :P

Monday night, we had a Quiz Bowl against 2nd Olson, and that was amazing! Ryan was there too, which really made it all the more fun. And in the end, 2nd Beede won it. No surprise there I'd say! :) Later, I went to the Honors Association meeting with Jean and Jordan and brought my Apples to Apples game along. It was really awesome, not gonna lie! And it was a great way to wind down after the stressful day, even though it basically made my headache worse from all the laughing. Damn, that game is brilliant...Then I ended up studying with Jean again for Business, and Jordan there as an aside. Somehow, our study sessions don't turn out that way, and Jean usually ends up on some funky website like FML and starts reading them....but anyway. Note, I didn't get to go to bed till 1:45 because of this test now.

Technically Tuesday morning 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. I'm sleeping, and all of a sudden I hear loud voices and the lights in our room turn on. WHAM, I'm awake, Keather's barging in with some 4 or 5 other people, and they're all talking and ushering Keather into the room. I smelled something when they walked in, and the best guess I had while half-asleep and completely dazed is that it was alcohol, and that they had been drinking. One of them had the nerve to ask how the Quiz Bowl went, because they had the signs still taped to the floor. Then the others ALSO had the nerve to tell me to make sure she made it into her loft all right--yet another reason why I'm convinced she was drinking last night.

I. Was. Pissed beyond fuck. And I still am. Honestly, 5 in the goddamn morning is ridiculous. And to make that much noise? More than a little rude, ESPECIALLY when I have a test that day. On top of that, I also had THREE FUCKING TESTS that previous day, and I was tired as fuck. I am so beyond pissed that I hope she read my status and saw how insulted I was. My God, I'm still fuming about it, and if it does happen again, I'm reporting to Cat and Brett about it. I don't mind if she's out late at night, but NOT when it means bringing a group of kids to our room making that much noise and TURNING THE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!

........

All right, I think I've calmed down a bit. Despite the LACK OF SLEEP I GOT LAST NIGHT...*ahem*....I think I did all right on the Business test. I'm nervous to see how I did though, the only paper and test we've done in the class, and I didn't do so hot on both of them. Ahh well. Now it's a wait for our Rock & Roll test, and I'm hoping I did well there, too. There were a few questions I knew I missed...so I'm just interested.

Anyway, it's now Tuesday night, and I'm watching season 2 of Monk with Andrew and Jacob. It's pretty awesome. But every once in a while, as the stress mounts and classes go on...the weeks drag on...I start losing hope little by little.

It's like, I've started to question why I'm in Honors...I'm not doing as well in my classes as I'd like to, at least that's how I feel. Especially as an Honors student, where we're supposed to be getting As and Bs, and I feel like I'm struggling just to get a B in all of my classes....I'm questioning whether I've made the friends I've made. Do I want to go party constantly? No. Do I desperately need the first guy I come across as a boyfriend? No. But would I like to have that guy I can rely on when I feel lonely?.....well, yeah. And there are guys I'm interested in--the guy who sits on the other end of our row in Mass Comm for one. Damn is he hot....but I'm almost certain he's 1) an upperclassman and 2) already taken and 3) so fucking out of my league that it's ridiculous. I could only wish I had a shot at him. Meanwhile, I spend the majority of my time hanging with guys who are already taken, aka Jacob and Chris. FML.

I've liked almost every person I've met here on campus. It's just that all the really great ones are already taken. I'm not complaining though, not too much.

It just feels like there's a moment or two where I wish there was someone I could really confide in. I have Chantel, yes, but she's also Keather's friend, and knowing those two they've probably already discussed my status. What I really need is....peace. A moment where I have no shit to do, where I might be able to read a book for fun for once.

I want to go home. Just for a few. I can't wait for the weekend, and it's only Tuesday. Fuck... :/

What I could really use is a night where I'm not woken up at 5 in the fucking morning. Now that'd be nice.

Week In Review: D-Days!

It has been too long since I last posted. A whole 6 days. I must remedy this.

So, Monday was extremely nice. Both speech and mass comm was canceled, so I just had class at 11 and 1, woot! Then it was Monday Night Football, Vikings vs Packers!! Epicness, pure epicness. It was just amazing watching Brett Favre in a purple Vikings jersey, playing against his old Packers team....and we beat them! I had a few friends over to watch it also, which was awesome. It was originally just me, Jacob and Ashley, but then Jordan came by too. Later Jean and Andrew joined in the fun, even though poor Andrew came by about 10 minutes to 9. We had to hustle them all out at this time, because Jean, Jordan and I wanted to go to the Honors Association meeting. I felt bad for booting them, and Keather pointed out that "I'm still hereee," but as much as I'd like to just leave them there to their own devices, it'd be uncomfortable as hell for them. Plus, I had no idea how long we'd be, and it was after 10 before we came back to the room. But we have shirt ideas, hopefully! :)

Tuesday: The Twins had a one-game playoff against the Tigers for the division championship, so that was intense also. Also it was yet another chance at having friends over to watch it! Jacob came by first, because his TV couldn't get TBS at the time, so we talked Ashley into joining us also. They left after the game, but it didn't really bother me.

Of the rest of the week:

• It's D-Days, and I don't know how to describe it. I'm not really impressed with it, mostly because there really hasn't been a push for making the campus LOOK like this was a celebration...it just felt like any other week. It also seems like it's just an excuse to get more comedians here, but really, they shouldn't feel like we need an excuse. They don't have an excuse for showing movies every Friday night really, and it's an awesome idea--but that's every weekend.
• Classes are blah. I'm struggling with Business, mostly because the teacher is....blah. And this is the only class that's frustrating me, so I don't know how that works out. :/ But I digress, maybe later I'll vent on that topic.
• I've ended up hanging out with Jacob a lot. He's already taken, which is fine with me, but if I think about it too much it gets weird. Too many what if's that I really shouldn't care about, so I don't.
• I got to raid THE journal in the Honors Lounge for shirt ideas. It was so awesome to read, not gonna lie! There's one page in there all about feminism, and another page has the phrase "I don't think I'm going to wear pants tomorrow..." written in the corner. It's hilarious to read between classes!
• I'm determined to go home this weekend, so I'm hoping I can catch a ride to and from SuFu with Mariah. Plus we have to get back at 8:30 Monday night for an Honors meeting, something about advising, so I'm not really looking forward to that. I wish I could stay home a little longer than that. But I digress, if I were super lucky I would've gone home Friday night too. But with how Friday went, I'm glad I didn't go home quite yet. :)
  

Thursday was Katie Couric, which was freaking awesome! There was a press conference at 3:15 (which actually didn't happen until 4:30, because her plane was 2 hours late), but because I had class I didn't go. Then at 7 Jacob and I went to the award presentation, which was also pretty awesome. I had my camera with me, and even though we were pretty far, I think I got a nice shot or two...probably not, ha. But anyway, it was really entertaining surprisingly! Al Neuharth was there, and as he was talking about the award, his cell phone went off. So he yelled into the phone and hung up right away, which made us all laugh. Mike Rounds was there too, so this was pretty big. Then later that night was the bull dinner, which was also crazy. I got to sit with Heather and her parents, plus some pretty awesome company: Wayne Curry, one of our senior football players, and the dean of the Arts & Sciences department and his wife. I really enjoyed myself, even though I didn't get to ask my question in front of everyone and such. But afterwards, Mr. Baldwin went up to me and said "If you go up to the stage now, you can probably ask her," so I went! And I got my picture taken with her! And and my question was answered! My mom was really thrilled at least, because she was the one to come up with it--good thing I could sum it up in one phrase: "What did you think of the president of Iran?" :P

Her response: "He was scary!" :D

Embarrassing as hell for a night, but it was worth it I'd say. I can never understand that, either. How I can feel completely embarrassed after an experience that really shouldn't make me feel like that. The same thing happened when I was talking with Keith at B&N, after we parted ways my face went SO red. And I didn't remember saying anything really stupid, it just felt like I made an ass of myself....and yet more than likely, it could've happened to anyone. Sooo yeah, another experience that has made me think.

Friday was also amazing, and it was the first time I spent my Friday night on campus! But it was for a good cause, there was a comedian down at Farber Hall that I was interested in watching. Jacob was interested too, so he went along with, and then Chris and his girlfriend came with too! It was pretty cold, but it was definitely worth it. Plus we left a little earlier than need be, mostly because I was done watching The Office, and the Yankees had just tied with the Twins during their second playoff game (long story short, I HAD to watch the wedding episode, and the Yankees won the first playoff game. Yankees won Friday night anyway, so I think had I just kept on watching The Office, they would've won). But the comedian was amazing, and he had some amazing magic tricks too! I got in on the comedy a little, because he was also an only child. So he started talking about how we had to fill so many roles as the only child, like how we had to be the A student and the druggie all at the same time. Chris didn't help matters though, he was nodding along with the comedian, and he noticed--ended up pointing out Chris saying "Yeah, he's nodding like he knows it's true!" Damn you Chris, damn youuu...lol.

Then after the comedian was The Ugly Truth, which was also EPIC! But we had a Slumdog Millionaire flashback. They were in the hot air balloon, half bickering and half apologizing, and suddenly the screen entirely shuts down. We're like...whoa....so a girl goes up there to try and fix it. Well she got the sound to work, but not the screen, so we're sitting there listening to it with no picture...meanwhile, this is the very end of the movie. So we don't see the kiss, just hear the music, and the next thing we hear is them having sex in the closing scene. No picture, just sound. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't help it! The only problem was that it was snowing outside. Yes, snowing. And it sucked having to walk all the way back to the dorms!

But hey, I had the dorm to myself Friday night. Pretty damn awesome. It's so very nice when Keather decides to be a whore and just sleep at Garrett's place--I kid you not, she did, and on top of that they both couldn't bother to call an escort service. Riiiiiiiight, more like too lazy. But that's her problem, not mine. Just wait until her mother finds out, though. >:)

And now, today is Saturday. It's all right, I didn't go to the parade because I was super tired and didn't want to go out in the cold. And Keather's hiding in the corner with a bowl of tomato soup or something. I wish I had the place to myself again. I'm not a loner, it just feels weird having to share it with her. Partly just 'cause I always had a room to myself, but partly because she's so....weird. When she has guests, she says "Hi Darcy!" wayyy too enthusiastically. Any other time, it's like I don't exist. So that's what she got this morning. You want to know what went on last night while you were out? Fuck that, you should've been here to see it then. And yes, I was ignoring you as you asked me too. Ahh, the upside to having earbuds--or at least the act of having them in and faking it. :)

Anyway, the football game's in about an hour, so I'm going to get ready and see if I can get ahold of Mariah, I wanna make sure I still have a ride and how to get that ride home. :)

Teenage Rant, Or Adult Irritation

Sometimes I don't get my parents. Apparently I can pull out my earbuds and set aside all the homework and textbooks that surround me, just so that I can put the dog outside. And yet when the phone rings, my mom can't take off her headphones to do it. I even got up to mute the TV for her, but no, she expects me to answer the phone. Well fuck that, I'm not answering the phone. I hate talking on the phone as much as Mom does, so I won't. I have my own cell phone to answer.

And also, I'd really appreciate it if my dad would stop bitching and whining so much. Yeah, you're cooking, but how about you stop bitching to us about how you can't answer the phone because your hands are dirty and you have to wash your hands and all this shit? The bullshit excuse isn't going to make the deed happen any faster, and stop bitching to us, we aren't the ones calling. It's like yelling at people for crappy driving, or because you keep on having to stop for red lights. You're the one who screwed up and didn't get on the interstate when you wanted to, so we shouldn't have to listen to you whine about all the red lights. And the next time you give another long-winded sarcastic rant about another driver on the road, I WILL say "Dad, just shut up." I've had to do it once, I will do it again. Not to be rude, but to keep my sanity.

I don't give a shit if I still technically live under your rules. I'm sick and tired of the whining, and the bitching, and the excessive sighs and the constant swearing where they aren't necessary. You don't want to hear it from me, and I don't want to hear it from you. So how about you finally hold up your end of the deal and STFU.

Family, Friends and Craziness

Oh gosh.....this second half of the week wasn't as exciting, but it certainly had its high points!

1) I finished up this week's column late Wednesday night, which is super crazy! Usually I don't work on it till Saturday night, or maybe a little earlier, but this time I got to work on it right away. I felt so proud of myself! And it made Heather happy too I think, it's guaranteed on time. :)

2) I basically bombed my Business test from Tuesday. I was over 50 percent at least, but I was below the average, and that does not please me. Sooo yeah. And it doesn't help that the weather has been wet and rainy so much the past few days. Thursday, it was thundering and lightning while walking to Calc--while ambulance sirens were going off right down the street. Could've been firetruck or police too, but whatever, it was still freaky while it was thundering so loud. :P

3) So because WalMart didn't have Covet, I went to Barnes & Noble Friday night with the family to get it. Woot! Then my heart died a little because Roxanne St Claire also had a new book out. Gahhh. Why must they put books out so damn close, I just picked up Dan's book!! :/ But the main highlight was that I ran into Keith near the checkout line! Now this blew me away, just because I very rarely run into people I know like that....unless I'm on campus or something, though. But anyways, we ended up talking for quite a while, and I think it ended up lasting about a half hour or so, and it went really well! Surprisingly, Keith said we should swap numbers in case either of us were in the same town sometime soon, so I now have Keith's number.

The weird thing of this whole experience? You would think that Jackass's friends would prefer to avoid me, rather than keep in touch with me. No one gives someone their number with the intention of never talking with them again. I even learned that fact in speech class! And in reality, I guess since Jackass was the one to break things off with me, and the way he's treated me, that his friends would have some sort of negative image of me--or at the least would rather avoid me. But nope, Keith wanted my number. I didn't ask for it, he did. And I'm just floored by that.

But then again, Jackass is not like his friends. His friends are awesome, and really sweet, and wouldn't ditch him the way he did to them during the end of the schoolyear. But at least I'm not the "eternal optimist" who refuses to see who he really is. ;)

4) I got to see Uncle Glenn tonight!!! I've been looking forward to that for so long, so to finally see him was awesome! And plus we got to visit with Grandpa Bud too, and that's always a plus. Then we got to look at a whole bunch of old pictures, which were really a sweet find....had chicken for lunch, always good....then watched some racing, Twins baseball (woot!), and a little of the USD game. Ha, that was a bomber though, we lost to UND of all places. Blah. But I got to see my uncle!!! :D

4) SNL tonight, wow. Just wow! Madonna and Lady Gaga were on, and Lady Gaga was NOT dressed in some fucked up outfit for once! And again when she was singing, she took of her mask for the first time, or at least it's the first time I've ever seen it happen. She's got really sweet blonde hair, it's all wavy and long....but she still doesn't top Madonna, just on the sheer awesomeness level. I'm not much of a fan of Madonna, but she does keep in shape for her age....holy crap, her arms are like....wow.

I believe I shall stop there. I have Covet waiting for me, and Frosted Flakes is calling...but I shall resist, I just need some water! :/

Honors Like It On Top!

I was doing so well with studying, and then I figured I should update this...

So, Monday was crazy-super-awesome day! I had to go to speech, which was in the library for a change (3rd floor, really inconvenient when you reach the 1st floor after class and remember you forgot your keys in the computer lab, damnit). Then I had to go back to my room and get the rest of the day's stuff; study for Mass Comm for about an hour; go to Calc and try not to fall asleep while taking a quiz (damn quiz, how I hate you and your stupid steps...); go have a quick lunch with Mariah, and study as much as possible for Mass Comm again; go to Honors Experience and have a blast; MASS COMM TEST (which didn't turn out that bad, I thought); ahh, then have the real interesting stuff happen afterwards.

There's a group of four that sit in the front row of Mass Comm, they're a really friendly bunch I learned. We were all talking about it after, and one of the guys (I believe his name's Dan...) asked what I thought of flag football. Ha, this wasn't the first time that I've been recruited, but these guys were too nice...so I said sure. Fuck me, but I said yeah. :P

We got our asses kicked, but it didn't help we were playing 7 against 8. Not to mention the other team was about twice our size, so they were able to switch players for offense and defense. And I think they were druggies--they were smoking something during halftime, and even though they were most likely cigarettes...well, I won't jump to conclusions either way.

Then I went to the Commons for dinner with the group also. The girl in the group is super sweet, she's awesome! I wish I could remember her name though....I always feel bad when someone manages to remember my name better than I can remember theirs. I'm slowly learning the names of the kids on my floor, but I can tell they live there based on their faces quicker than I can their names. Ahh well. :/

Afterwards was some studying, and an Honors Association meeting at 9. Wow, was that fun, lol! Bocce ball, along with discussions for our new Honors shirts. Now those were my kind of shirts! Then following bocce ball, we ended up in the kitchenette of our floor with the HA boss, having hot cocoa and chocolate chip cookie dough while "studying" and chatting. Met a guy named Filipe while Max King went down the hallways looking for open doors and knocking on them. Awesomeness!

Overall, it was a pretty entertaining day. Sad thing was that Keather was sick with something, who knows what. Might've been food poisoning, or even the effects of little sleep, but she threw up at least once from the sounds of the other floormates, blah. But I think she was a bit better today.

Speaking of today, this was also a good day! Went WalMart grocery shopping with Jordan, Jean and Sam, which was awesome! CA Brett was there at the same time, and CA Cat walked past us with WalMart bags just before we left also, so this was definitely a WalMart day. Even though they didn't have Covet, dammit, and I kinda bombed my first Survey of Business test, double dammit. Not too terribly though, a 69, but there were quite a few who did equally as "bad". Just under the average. :/

Now I'm trying to study for Calc, or at least I was. I had to come here and fill in the awesomeness before I forget about it all. :P

Weekend Update

Ahh, yet another weekend. The weekends fly by too quickly, I think. I get home, I have a day of relaxation, and then I'm gathering my stuff and heading back down the day after. It makes me wish we had more of those three-day weekends. But at least I don't have the same class day after day, with the exception of Survey of Calc.

Gah, I don't even know what to do with that class. I'm having problems trying to remember all the steps for these silly problems, when I'm best at just learning how to DO them. Not the steps. Because having to write down all those steps take up too much time.

I miss accellerated precalc, at least Mr. Conrad was a good teacher. :/

This week wasn't too bad, though. Thursday I played kickball with some kids on my floor. Our competition was 2nd Olson, the other Honors floor...it was very worthwhile, even though we lost. Jordan happened to lose her shoe AND sock when she went up to kick once, and I think so did Ben. I totally wiped out trying to run after a ball that sailed right over my head. Brett earned a penny for risking his life to save the ball before it rolled into the street, but he might've gotten a couple in the end. Someone kicked the ball into the far-off pine tree also, instant score! The other team tried to throw their shoe up there to get it out, but that just got the shoe stuck too for a time, lol.

After the kickball game, Jordan, Jean and I went into the study lounge and chilled for a few hours in there. Plenty of chatting, studying and awesome Mad Gab, woot! Nolan came and joined us too, and it was a blast listening to him and Jean discuss Arabic.

Plus, Thursday was a great dinner gettogether with a bunch of friends. Chris, Val, Lathasha, Ashley, Josie, Jenn....plus a couple new guys, one was named Andrew and the other Jacob (I think). Ohh, the conversations we had... :P

Friday, I saw the twins from Uno Tomato at the MUC when Val and I were getting lunch. Spurred me to go to UnoZoni that night, which was definitely awesome, as usual! Mostly I just thought it was cool to see them, I never had before anyways.

Onto other news, I got an invitation to have dinner with Katie Couric! All I can really say is HOLY SHIT! I get to meet Katie Couric! :O And thanks to my mom, I've got questions to ask too!

Right about now, I'm getting anxious for Tuesday to come. Covet is coming out, so that'll be awesome. Been looking forward for that the past couple weeks. :)

I <3 Music

I think I'm temporarily deaf tonight, but it's all right, because tonight was AWESOME!

To start, I had a test today in Survey of Business. I don't know how I did on that, 'cause I'm sort of on the fence of how much information I actually retained, but I really need to remember that apparently there are review notes online...well that would've been nice to know beforehand. But whatevs.

Then tonight, there was a concert with about 4 different bands at the Eagle's Club. Kacee, Jenn, Rachel, Erin and I went to it at about 6, so we left to go get some food down at R-Pizza. Man, that pizza was good! But to start, when we got to the club, it was entertaining to watch the guy at the table put on our wristbands. A member of Avian Sunrise came over and said "Nah, that's not how you do it, let me show you," and uses me as an example. He's wrapping it around my wrist talking about the glue and how it's funny to try and put it on a guy's hairy arm 'cause of when you have to pull it off and it kinda hurts, but then he says "Wow, you've got the smallest wrists I've ever seen!"

It made me happy, and I don't really know why....maybe the same way being called a hot nerd made me happy too, I don't know!

First band we saw was Sour Soul, and really, all I can say is WOW. Not only are their band members SUPER nice and really pretty hot, but they were absolutely awesome music-wise too! I so wanted to get a shirt, but I had to borrow money just for an album...but I got it! Plus I got to talk to the lead singer (who talked me into the album in the first place), and their super-hot banjo player! He said he got interested in the banjo because of the Irish music influence he grew up with as a kid, then he also mentioned that they prefer to write songs in English because of the differences in translation kind of thing--they have one Spanish song, but he said that it wasn't even their favorite. Go figure! Also, the Spanish accents were....wow.... :D

Then there was this rap group. No comment.

Windsor Drive was next, and while I didn't get their albums (yes they have more than one!!), they were still awesome! So I might download theirs later.

Finally was Avian Sunrise, which was so freaking epic! Just awesome. I got their EP also, and a shirt, so that's where most of my money went tonight lol. But it was worth it!

But now, I shall go to sleep, and try to regain some of my hearing. :P

New Name: The Hot Nerd

Awe, thank you Lawler for comparing me to the hot nerd chick in your chemistry class! I really do appreciate that, even if you're just a high school sophomore boy. :P

And on another note, those parents who feel the SFSD needs to change the school schedule AGAIN so that they start after Labor Day need to get a life...or a hobby. Your kids want to go to school, face it. They don't want to spend their summers with their PARENTS. And it really won't matter when school starts, because they will go outside when they want to go outside. More than likely, your obesity-riddled kids would end up playing video games in the basement during the second half of the summer, and where will we be again?

Yeah, back to the shitty semester tests after Christmas break, with homework to top it off. FORGET IT.

He Couldn't Hide For Long.

Well, I don't really have anything to report today other than that I located where Majorly Effing Hot Man hides during the day. Mariah and I went up to the second floor of the library, and what do you know, there he is chilling by the windows with a coffee cup, studying. And yeah, he still had those earbuds in. But today he was wearing a white shirt. :P

Also, I am in love with Sunday's Argus paper. That picture is AMAZING! :D

And the story was amazing too, not gonna lie. Sheri is so awesome at what she does!

The Good Always Die Young...

I envy those who had the chance to know Liz Lias.

Flipping through my freshman yearbook, it's amazing to see how often Liz appeared in it--one photo from Spanish Club, another of her with a friend in Peru over the summer. Looking back, I guess ti's no surprise that she felt her calling was International Studies.

To me, she was that face I might run into in the hallways from time to time. I was only a freshman in high school, so as soon as we'd get to know those upperclassmen, they had already up and graduated.

I crossed paths with Liz again, this time through church. Our church is a tight-knit community, and even though her family moved on to greater places, they left a positive impression. I can look back at our old church directory and recognize their faces instantly.

My neighbors back at home were even familiar with her and her mother.

Our lives crisscrossed multiple times, and yet I never really got to know her.

But who says you have to know someone to make an impact? She may have been just another classmate, but in a small way, a simple smile from her or a casual conversation can mean something to someone. And with all of her activities through the PSL and Greek Life, she certainly made a difference while here at USD.

Later on Friday night, I heard a familiar Green Day song over the radio:

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life..."

I have no doubt that she did.

(Amazing how different my opinion writing differs from blog writing? :P )

Fucking Hot Men, and RIP Tanner...

I'm sad to say, this is my 70th post. Post #69, I shall miss you dearly. Such a pretty post count, you are.... ;)

Yesterday I ran into this guy at the MUC twice. And this wasn't just any guy, this was a jaw-dropping-fucking-HOT guy. Black hair of medium length, waved back in a way hair really shouldn't wave back normally....Damn, he had amazing arms, like he could easily be a football player but he seemed shy enough that me might not be. He was wearing earbuds both times I saw him, and the second time when we walked past each other he did that shy look-the-other-direction-casually glance, so I believe he's got a shy side to him. He's got a black backpack, was wearing a red shirt....well clothes can change, I just hope he doesn't change his hair, his face as a whole was so...shocking to me. Like, a beacon. God, I'm doomed to forever wander around hoping to run into him, and no one else will be able to compare!

The sad thing was that I was dressed in the most casual clothing I could get: jeans, a tank top undershirt, and my plaid longsleeve shirt (unbottoned, I might add). Fuck my life..

But anyways. Voting was today for 24 hour visitation. I know I should tell Keather to vote, but it's not like she even cares. All she seems to want is to find a guy to latch onto and stay there. I want friends and a life first before I go out and find a guy...even though I just found one yesterday....gahhh.

Plus, Keather never told me why she never came back to the room the other night. In fact, for part of the day, she didn't even really speak to me. Sooo, I'm sticking to my assumption that she spent the night with a guy, most likely Jeremy. And thank you, Logan, for seeing that her bubbly personality is in fact flirty, and thank you doubly so for admitting that it can get in the way of getting to know who she really is. Your intuitiveness is an awesome trait to have, and it's very much appreciated!

On a sad note, Tanner passed away last night. I'm sad, but at the same time I'm happy, because these past few years have been awfully rough for him. His back problems were horrible, which was why we nearly lost him the first time, but he somehow came back from that...but I can't imagine that road being painless, so I'm happy he's someplace where he'll never deal with pain again. I'll miss you, big guy. <3

I think this is one of the last photos I've got of Tanner (at least on my computer), from early July. Thanks for not looking at the camera Tanner, ha. :P

Darkness Is Not My Friend....

Well, how interesting was that! Just had a power outage, right around 12:30 am I think. I was just sitting here on Facebook, and suddenly the lights, TV, even air conditioning went out, so all that's on is my laptop screen. Then I heard the girls next door come out too, and Jesse was in the study room on the phone, so she was trying to navigate her way back to her room in the dark. The next door girls had a couple portable desk lamps though, so that was convenient!

And Keather hasn't come back from wherever she went, so if she comes back when I'm trying to sleep... >:/

I got to listen to Billy Mills talk tonight during this dinner/Q&A. I didn't get to ask any questions, mostly because I was pretty nervous/shy to ask, plus I didn't have any questions (let alone good ones) to ask him until the very end. That was when two random things came to mind: How'd he meet his wife, and why he went into the Marines. Not big revolutionary questions, but I'm sure there's an interesting story behind that too. :)

Lathasha and Val are doing the Rush thing this weekend, aka Greek Life. Ha, didn't even know that's what they called the recruitment thing, but anyway. They said if I wanted to jump in, do it now and stick with it the rest of the week, but I don't feel very committed to the idea of joining a sorority right now.

Even though the sorority that Lathasha and Val think I'd fit in best with is Alpha Xi Delta. Yeah, look at who's #2 in the sisters of distinction. http://sites.theginsystem.com/axidusd/index.php?page_name=sisters_of_distinction

*facepalm*

Ahh well, I'll seriously consider it next year. But right now? Bah, if I want/need a support group, I've got the Honors Association. I've got the Volante.

And right now, I'm going to bed, Keather or no Keather. And I can seriously see myself missing class tomorrow morning. Fuck it.

Hotness Update: US Open

Ahh, the news isn't on because of the US Open, and watching them, I think we need a Hotness Update....

Fuck, Argentina knows how to breed 'em. First there's my baby Tao, sexiest man out there next to my Rafael....Now there's Juan Martin del Potro.

I'm....I'm quite speechless....I mean, Rafael Nadal is quite hot in his Spanish boyishness, but here....

I'm betting it's the stubble. :3

Let's see a little bit more!

All right, I think I've made my point. However, on another observation.....ever notice how similar Roger Federer is in looks compared to Jeff Gordon? I'm just saying...

Monday Was....Awesome? Wha?!

This is probably very lazy for me, but I'm basically copying and pasting today's events from an email I sent to my mom (minus quite a few exclamation points). What can I say, I could just blog it and let her read, but then she'd end up reading all my other crap....not going to happen. :P

Not to mention, the parents shall never know about what shit went down during the night, lol.

To set the story: I'm sleeping, everything's going fine. Then my bed starts shaking a whole ton, so now I'm really pretty disgruntled. That's when I realize in my sleepy haze that I hear a dude's voice. o.O

Fuck yeah, we forgot to lock the door. :/ However, he had decided to crawl into Keather's bed, so to me it's just really fucking funny!

So I hear Keather talking to him, trying to stay out of it 'cause I'm tired and don't want to deal with the idiot, and she asks "Darcy, can you turn on the light?"

Ahh hell, so I roll over and turn on the light, and see that he had somehow crawled UNDER her sheets, so I'm going WTF in my head, LOL. I stare at him like oh yeah, you're fucked, and he goes "This isn't William Powell's room?" I just keep on staring and go "No."

Had to answer No once or twice more before he finally crawled back out (yeah, he just had briefs on, HAHA), dresses and leaves. Came back 'cause he thought he lost his cell phone in here, but nope. So when he was gone for good, I went back to laughing my ass off and Keather scrambles off to lock the door. Apparently he tried to coax Keather into keeping quiet and telling her just to face the other way in the bed. I'm just....wow....but hey, at least when I'm straightforward, it gets men out pretty quick...wonder if that's a good thing or not. :/ Considering the circumstances though, I probably would've said "Get the fuck OUT." :P

What have we learned? Well Keather learned that reasoning with a guy to get out of your bed doesn't work, and we will now remember to lock the door from now on. Also, William Powell, your friend is so very lost and confused. lol

So anywaysss, I did get to meet with Sheri Levisay today, and it was so cool. She even had the photographer Lloyd Cunningham with her. They were both so awesome, and really really sweet to talk to, so for me to follow them around a bit was amazing...They were there to talk to some professors and take pictures of this exhibit they have at the Neuharth Center right now. There are a whole bunch of books and manuscripts, one of them is a page from the Gutenberg Bible and another a REALLY old Magna Carta book from the 1300s....well they were talking about opening up one of the cases and letting Sheri hold it, and she points to me and says "Hey, we should let her touch it!"

So I got to touch a really old Magna Carta, yayyy! :D And they even got pictures of me touching it, double yayyy!

Oh gosh, it was so freaking awesome, I had such a hard time leaving 'cause I had Calc at 11...I was 5 minutes late to that class actually, but the teacher didn't say anything at ALL, so I was super happy!

Plus, Sheri did some interviewing with the curator and how they got the whole exhibit (he said they had to book it two years in advance), so I got to watch her in action too! Even better, Lloyd commented and asked questions too at the same time, which was like.....that is PERFECT, especially if I ever got stumped with a question, let him ask some too...It was just awesome, so freaking awesome!

Then Mr. Baldwin said that there's going to be a dinner Q&A thing Tuesday night with Billy Mills, and said that the Volante staffers are invited to it, so I'm on board with that too! :D

Also, I finally had the Honors Experience class, which looks like it'll be loads of fun too. There's only 10 kids in the class, and our teacher's so lax, he said we may have this lunch get-together thing on Mondays 'cause so many of us have a rather short lunch....including him, lol....but it's going to be awesome.

Do I Really Look That Ignorant?

Ha, going for a walk my ass. Keather just walked out of the room saying, "I'm going to go for a little walk," and she was on the phone talking to someone--most definitely a guy. I'm not retarded, I know what you're up to.

Had it been Chantel, she wouldn't have needed to leave the room, not in the slightest.

Lying is not among your strengths, roomie. I can see right through you.

And in other newsss...homework isn't happening right now, or at least not very well. When I'm home, I'm either dreading coming back or enjoying myself too much to do any serious studying. Well, isn't that college for you! :P

.....Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't complain too much that Keather's left. I really quite enjoy having the room to myself, it's so very me. Also, I could probably try to set up the wireless now while she's not here either. But I still need to work on my topics for speech and study for this mass comm test tomorrow, so I probably shouldn't.

Gah, too much shit to do, so little time to do it! >:O

It's a Beautiful Day

Ahh, a new day. I think today shall be a good day to report good news. :)

S0, my major (for now) is Contemporary Media & Journalism. My professor for Intro to Mass Communications, Chuck Baldwin, also happens to be our advisor for our paper the Volante. Well, Thursday and Friday they had a little journalism workshop to get us more comfortable with writing and interviewing, and basically joining the newspaper as a whole. Patrick Lalley from the Argus even came in to talk with us, which was really cool too. I was one of the few kids who would get engaged with the conversations, so I don't know if that's a good thing or not...? Bah, who cares!

Anyway, one of the things that came up was that I was interested in the copy editing portion of newspapers. Friday afternoon, I was walking to class, and Mr. Baldwin came by. He told me that the copy editor of the Argus was coming in on Monday to do some interviews and stuff, and said that depending on how her schedule looked, he may be able to get me in and meet her.

OH. MY. GOD!

Really, how often does a chance like that come up? Basically never. Hell, I'll be thrilled if I get even 5 minutes of her time, so this is AMAZING!

And if I don't get to, I won't feel bad in the least. Ha, it's not like I have anything better to do between classes anyway, so this is perfect! :D

So how do you measure what makes a good college? Good professors. :3

Oh, and good showers. Oh God, there's never a shortage of hot water, I swear...and there's shower STALLS, with locks. So much better than SDSU!

Speaking of SDSU, guess which college is the first to report a case of H1N1. Yeep, SDSU. And not just one case, there's 4!.....Granted, Heather put in that they're betting the Honors floors will be the first to get H1N1 here, but that made me laugh so hard when I read that. Hells yeah! :P

Ahh....the Steelers aren't looking so bad to me anymore, which makes Pricey quite happy. But what can I say, it's that school spirit pride in me. One of their players is a USD alumni, woot!

Friday, I went to HyVee to eat with Lathasha and Val. Oh gosh, that was so fun! They thought I was silly for not making them rush sooner (parents had come to pick me up with the dog), but I was having fun and my parents didn't mind the wait. Plus it gave them a chance to eat also, which made my dad happy. Gah, dumb coupons. :/

Also, whoever organizes the mail down in the mailroom is odd. Last week, they stuck someone's mail in our box, #222. No, the number on the mail was #322. Then this week, someone's mail from room #422 was in our box. We always seem to get mail, but it's never actually ours...

Otherwise...I think that's all for now. :3

Please, Let This Be The Last Time....

Really, I'm sick and tired of chasing my tail.

All right, Jackass. How many times have we had to have this goddamn conversation...Every comment I make to you is not a personal attack. All I said was that 5 months is damn short in the long scheme of things. That was fucking UNCALLED FOR when you insinuated that our relationship was shorter than how long you've been dating my cousin.

You actually think that I don't know how hard it is to maintain a long-distance relationship? Fuck that, it's hard to keep ANY relationship going over a long distance, whether it be friends, family or significant others. It does not matter what type it is, it is hard. And just because you have moved around a ton growing up doesn't mean it's more difficult for you than it is for anyone else. Has it ever occurred to you that there are other people on the other side of the spectrum? Has it ever occurred to you that it's just as hard for those you're leaving behind? I've been left behind by MANY friends, and I can promise you it's no different. Trying to maintain that long-distance friendship is no fucking different than trying to keep up a serious relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend. And I've been able to maintain long-distance friendships, friendships with people I haven't even officially met yet. Want to tell me that it's not the same? Fuck you, asshole, someday you need to try it the other way around for once, then we'll see what you think.

You actually had the gall to tell me to get over the fact that you're dating my cousin? You say you had NO clue, not a fucking clue, but you did. The first time you ever met her, I told you I was related to her. You knew that in the back of your mind as you asked her out. Can I believe you didn't ask her out as a personal vendetta against me? Sure, even though it's so much easier to think you did. But to tell me to get over the fact that I'm related to her is just stupid. How about you stop referring to her as your girlfriend, does that make any more sense than what you're asking for? No, it doesn't.

You constantly compare our relationship to the present, and you might as well slap me across the face. Thanks for admitting now that you didn't have the balls to tell me the truth as to why you wouldn't break up with me in the past, that's great. No really, it is a small comfort...because at least then, you're admitting that yes, you couldn't fess up to how you really felt. Was it completely, totally wrong for you to string me along for those last two months, giving me the impression that you still loved me when you didn't? Yes, and frankly you should burn in hell for that. But honestly.....if I'm to be your friend, as you so called me, why can't you be honest with me? And if you can't be honest with me, are you honest with anyone else you call a friend? I know you aren't with Aaron Mead, so who else have you fucked with to get your way? Because I can't be the only one who refuses to accept the shit you try to pull on me.

God, I really shouldn't try to inform the incompetent....It's like, I can explain myself over and over and over again, but it never gets anywhere. I can't begin to count how often I told him I don't appreciate how he's treated me these past months, and even though he apologizes, albeit also metaphorically stomping away from the argument like a cranky toddler saying he'll never speak to me again, he still hasn't learned how easy it is for him to go back to treating me like shit. And I won't tolerate it.

Like how I won't tolerate him treating me like shit, yet continues to refer to me as a friend. Because if that's how he treats his friends.... :/

However, why not record this for further investigation...Background info, referring as to whether 5 months is a long relationship or not.

Jackass: You can't call it short when we ourselves didn't last that long :p

Me: Duh I know, but I'm not retarded, I wasn't going to call you out on it over a goddamn status comment.

And yes, I can call it short. One of my closest friends who graduated with me in May has been dating the same guy for over 4 and a half years. That is long, that takes commitment. My uncle has been dating the same woman for over 5 years now, that is long. My cousin was engaged to the same woman for 10 years before they finally got married in 2006, that was VERY long.

Just because I'm not dating, doesn't mean I haven't learned from others. :/

Jackass: short for one person is different for another. and based on the other two relationships i've had, which were both short for a reason, this is pretty long. especially at 1000 miles away. so i really think you have no room to talk.

Me: And if that's what you're basing it on, it's pretty shaky. 5 months--2 months longer than I, and 1 of those months as you said, 1000 miles away. Yeah, really impressive.

You say I have no room to talk, but that's your opinion. If you can't respect what I have to say, that's your problem. But at least I can respect the fact that you've been trying to make a long-distance relationship work with my cousin of all people, when you told me that you couldn't handle a long-distance relationship in the past. I'm sorry for even trying to tease you about it, but frankly, comparing our relationship to what you have now is a low blow.

Jackass: which is still that much longer than you. And you have no idea how hard a long distance is.

what's keni being your cousin got to do with it? It's not like i went out to find a person to date just to piss you off. And i'm definitely not dating a person in your family to piss you off either. I seriously had no idea she was even REMOTELY related to you. I wasn't even looking for someone to date either. At all. So get over the fact that Keni's your second cousin or whatever.

And don't you realize that I didn't wanna do a long distance with you for a reason, Darcy? I didn't have the guts to tell you at the time, but I do now. I didn't wanna do it because I wanted to break up with you there. Wrestling did have something to do with it, but the main reason was because I rushed into the relationship, and you weren't the same person I thought you were. And the person you actually are I can't see myself dating. It's just me. Friends, yes, dating, not so much.

Me: Wy, you're telling me to get over the wrong thing. Can I get over thinking that you had a vendetta against me? Yes I can, and I have. But get over the fact that she's my cousin? Forget it. And if it's not an issue with you, then you shouldn't be telling me to deny someone as family--it's like me telling you to stop referring to her as your girlfriend. Not gonna happen.

And thanks for telling me that you didn't have a pair while dating me. If we want an interesting conversation, why not tell me who you thought I was. And no, I'm not talking about how you thought I was Murphy. And no again, I won't get upset at whatever your answer is, really.

But as a friend, I did deserve the truth...and I still do. Whatever the reason, it's something I obviously didn't get from you. Is it ever too late to tell the truth, no. But you told me you didn't regret us, wouldn't have changed it for anything, and I don't know whether I should believe it or not...especially when you continuously compare our past to the present. Like I was so insignificant, a bad mistake. So if I really am a friend, start treating me like one, please.

Jackass: #1. No vendetta against you. #2. She's so distantly related to you i don't see why it matters that I'm even dating her. It's like you hated it from the start.

I don't regret that i ever dated you. I learned from it. I became who I am now because of it. It's just a section of my life I am not apt to have the best feelings for. I just changed from then, and there were things then I didn't like, and those things shaped me to who I am now.

I thought you were the person who I wanted you to be. Not who you actually were. Whom I figured out later, and I didn't agree with who you were, which is why I broke up with you.

Me: #1. She's close enough I can trace the family tree. She's in fact the same distance as Ryan Hall is to me, and he calls me cous. Are you going to tell me that Ryan's an idiot for calling me his cous? No, it's just "different" because Keni doesn't know, or just won't say it.

Who you are now? Who you are now has been an asshole to me, especially when you first started dating Keni. And now, you used the short timespan as a weapon to publicly humiliate me--even if 80% didn't know what you were talking about. You say I'm a friend, yet you rarely if ever talk to me. More than likely, you've even gotten me hidden on your news feed so that you don't have to see anything I say or do.

Vagueness is being vague. I get it, you can't make someone into who you want them to be, and I appreciate it that you wouldn't go so far as to try and change who I was. That's still not telling me who I am...or who I was, as you put it.

Jackass: Oh Keni knows you and her are related. Trust me. I've told her. She accepted that fact long, long ago. I just don't see why it should matter that she's related to you and I'm dating her. Those two things seems totally irrelevant to each other. That's the topic i was trying to explain to you.

Darcy, I'm someone you'll never understand. So don't even try.

I thought we had common interests. I thought that's who you were. I thought you would be a person I would enjoy hanging out with. You were, until I figured out that we had basically nothing in common.

Me: Wy, I know you aren't close with most of your extended family, but I am. And I'd really appreciate it if you'd accept the fact that I value family. Especially because my family, and those who may be great-aunts, cousins, etc, are much closer than you'll ever understand.

And speaking of understanding, why do you even try to pretend that you understand me? You're also the one insinuating that I care who you're dating, when I've never said that. Sure, it's funny to watch others' reactions when I say my ex is dating my cousin, but you're exactly that--my ex. And when I'm finally treated like a friend rather than an insignificant past, then I can say that my friends are dating.

But thanks for going into more detail there...I guess. You're still using the word were in there, and you sort of imply that you didn't enjoy hanging out with me just because we didn't have much in common, but whatevs...

Jackass: Please don't call me Wy. Makes me feel uncomfortable.

And that still doesn't answer the question of why you don't like Keni and I dating. And I am close with the two cousins I actually have contact with, Sara and Alec.

I don't even care if I understand you or not, Darcy.

And i didn't "sort of" imply. I DID imply that. Once I found out we didn't have much in common, fun started to vanish. Because I want to hang out with people who want to do the same stuff I do. I want to be able to relate to those people. Share the same feelings and attitudes with them. I couldn't do that with you.

Me: Well it's pretty damn hard to answer why I "don't like it" when I don't actually give a damn. Never have I said "I don't like you two dating", it's just what you automatically assume. Has it ever occurred to you that I might have disliked the circumstances more than who she is? No, it clearly hasn't, which is why you have no room to talk when it comes to what I think.

If you don't care, then stop trying.

And I'm sorry you weren't able to accept me for who I was, let alone compromise.

Well, that was a waste of time. But, sometimes seeing what really goes on makes more sense than my endless rambling. :/

I feel really tired now, and kind of sick. God, I hate this...and I had such good news to report. That will have to wait till tomorrow, I guess.

I Really Shouldn't Be Doing This...

I feel so anti-social for now....been studying (or at least attempting to), and it feels like there's so much more I could be doing...

Keather's out at some meeting thing, I have no clue. I wouldn't be surprised though if she's off frolicking with Trey, he mentioned a slip-n-slide party at his fraternity. She's still bragging about how many friends she's made with guys. Ha. Sooner or later, it's going to dawn on her that that's not how you get a guy. You get a guy by being yourself--not by befriending as many of them as possible. The more guy friends you end up with, the more you become "that girl"...hell, the more you whore around with other guys, the more you become "that girl", but it's more like "THAT girl"....but there comes a time where they view you just as a friend, nothing more. Most men aren't stupid, they know when they've got a good friendship going. Different story with boys, but that's a different rant, lol.

Bah.

There's a campfire too down at the park with the Honors Association, I'm really tempted to see if anyone else wants to go to that. Maybe if I went to that I'd feel more productive...and it's not like I haven't been, I did some studying and hung out with Val and Lathasha a bit today too. Plus the Volante meeting today. I get paid to write columns, woot!

Which reminds me, mah checkies came in. They's got NASCAR on them. :3

And I think I might've gotten the Coyote Card thing figured out....so, I have 80 meals to use at the Commons, PLUS about $600 in flex money that I can use at the dining places in the Muc? At least that's the impression that I'm on now....but otherwise, my Coyote ID is devoid of cash. :O

Also, I'm thinking of downloading GIMP for the laptop. I hate GIMP, but I'm PSP/Photoshop-less down here. It's all on my old laptop. :/

Ahh well. I should really stop procrastinating here and work on studying. Blah.

Playing Catch-Up

Well, I'm quite behind on this whole documenting-good-stuffs-and/or-rants deal...and I could sure use a break from this studying business. So here it comes.

I'm really loving college! There aren't many kids on my floor who I won't say hi to, and everyone's really awesome--even the guys! Plus there are a whole ton of awesome kids I've met elsewhere, like Lathasha (love her name) and Val, and Kacee, and so many others I can't even start to name them!

And on an interesting note, I got my first official guy's number today? Ha, his name's Eric, he's pretty sweet. Now if only he didn't look so much like Jackass, I'd be happier...a LOT happier....but he's still a really cool guy, with a really cool roommate, and let me watch The Office with him in their dorm. :) But what would make me really happy, is if he would ask out Kacee, because I met him through her. And 1) I'd sort of feel like I stole him from her, 2) I think she'd be a lot better off with him than I (whole enjoying my singleness now and such), and 3) Well...he reminds me of Jackass. A nicer, not-asshole version of Jackass, but the way he looks is just...I'd be afraid I'm dating him for all the wrong reasons, and/or it'd get in the way of me wanting to date him for who HE is...I know I can differentiate between the two, but it bothers me that he reminds me of Jackass.

And apparently Jackass still sees me as a friend. A friend he never speaks to, however. Go figure, but that's how it's always seemed to work out when it comes to Wyatt. He insists on dating my cousin, even though he can't go out on dates with her. He calls me a friend, even though he won't talk to me. He says so much, even though he hasn't meant a whole lot of it.

Also, Sunday was the deadline for my first column on the Volante. How awesome is that! Plus I have my cousin Heather as the opinion editor, aka my boss, and I'm hoping with that I'll be more driven to impress her and actually do well (and on time, she really likes on time!). But Val is also on the staff with me, so I'm thinking this will be a good year! Val's roommate is also in my Intro to Mass Comm class, so that's going to be cool too.

Speaking of roommates....Keather's an odd little thing, just have to put that out there. I mean, she's a great roommate (for the most part)....I don't mind messes that often, with the slight issue that she left crumbs all over the desk....food is an odd issue for me. I hate it lying around, so even though the crumbs are on her side of the desk, it's still a bit bothersome because I actually USE the desk. Not to mention that I found an apple core in my wastebasket. Stupid thing to worry about after the first week, but really, had my wastebasket been empty, I'd be pissed. That stuff is not fun to have lying around. PERISHABLES, people!

Plus she won't touch the half gallon of milk I got last week, but her mom made her bring another half gallon anyway...I really don't think she's had much of any, unless it went on her cereal, in which she leaves the bowl & spoon lying around next to her stuff. I mean, come on...even I can go down to the kitchenette and at least rinse out my dishes. :/

There are little things I noticed that I never had before. I knew about her way of falling around guys, which is one interesting fact: I have not seen her fall ONCE since we moved in. Seriously. I also learned that Keather makes up excuses. A LOT. Like why the military is horrible for her because she hates moving and wants to have a family and--that's where I had to pause her and give her the facts. It IS possible to have a family, I've got numerous family members in the military. I get it, you don't want to be in it, but don't make up goddamn excuses that aren't based on fact.

Also, she is convinced that she "connects with guys" better than she does with girls, mostly because she supposedly "thinks like a guy". Yes, because apparently guys get up over an hour before classes start to get their makeup on, straighten their hair, stand in front of the closet for 15 minutes to decide what they're going to wear, then finally settle on a tank top 95% of the time. Just because you like to play sports (which, btw, belegarthing is NOT a sport), does not mean you think like a guy. Just because you put your clothes in drawers does not mean you think like a guy. I also put my clothes into drawers, I actually pass on makeup, I like to wear sweatshirts and wear men's lounge pants/shorts when I go to sleep, and I love to watch sports. I may not play them, but I think men appreciate being able to TALK about all those different kinds of sports with someone else who likes them, because it's very possible they never played it.

Why don't we look at it at a psychological standpoint. As I documented in that earlier post, she had said, "I'm really competitive when it comes to men." Oh yes, this is quite telling. Especially when you cling to the first one that walks by without attachments. It's not that you're just competitive when playing video games or sports with boys....you also find it a competition to flirt with them, make them fall for you before they lay eyes on another girl. Isn't it amazing how careful you have to be when it comes to what you say?

It's like how you can't remember meeting Trey for the first time because I was the one to go up to him and say hi to him...yet you can remember that he was the one to say "I can pwn noobs at Halo", which happened the exact same night, just an hour before. That's not "associating" him with another encounter, that's just you making up another fucking mistake because you can't stand to be wrong.

But whatevs. I'm making friends, friends that aren't friends with Keather, and that's what I'm striving to do. Make my own fanbase I guess I can call it, a separate group of people who I can use as an outlet to vent frustrations such as this. Because frankly, even though I have the opinion section of the paper, it's too public for things like that...nor relevant. And on top of that, I'm here to make those friends who will always be there to support me. Guys who are seen as potential dating material are not. That's called just using them for your personal gain.

However, I do have Aarin's forum that I can vent in if need be. That has been a blast to play in also.

And classes have been going well also, nothing to complain there. Sure, there aren't many assignments where you have to get this done by a certain date, but it's become now where you're actually responsible for reading the material and taking notes...or in the case of some classes, printing/saving the notes on the computer. Sweet!

That's about all I can think of for now, though...I should probably go and take a shower myself, or at least study a bit more. So yeah. :P

Success!

This shall be a quick blog post, but I guess it's better to say it now rather than wait till the excitement has left me...

I actually set up my brand new printer all by myself! :D HELL YEAH! It took about an hour to figure out, but I got it!

I have to admit, it feels amazing when something works out so well like that...for example, setting up a printer. I've never done it before, so this was quite an experience. Hell, I hadn't even loaded ink into a printer until now. That part took the longest to figure out, but it finally worked once I realized that I was trying to load the black ink into the color ink slot...oops. But no matter, I got it figured out! And all before I had to leave for my Calc quiz at 11.

Another thing that is making me wonder...they said we can't use Firefox down here on campus, yet here I am? Maybe it's just that when setting up with Cisco and all their wireless stuff, it doesn't work. But hell yes, this also has made my day! I was almost tempted to put my contacts on and actually look presentable today because of all this good stuff...but nah, didn't go for it, lol.

Speaking of the Calc quiz, I should probably wrap things up and go to class. I think I'll be back later tonight to finish catching up on college life.

Bah.

"I'm especially competitive when it comes to guys"

Thank youuu, will keep that in mind. :/

I Fail At Life!

Gahhhh!

I had an opportunity to help a hot guy, and I mean hot and can play a frigging guitar DAMN well, get his wireless internet working. What I didn't know was that it was a Mac. Ok, so I dive in and get his anti-virus downloaded and installed onto his comp, woot!

Once that hurdle was completed, then it was finding out how to connect to the network. Ok, I click on Network Diagnostics. I've found the network, gotten him logged into it (or at least I think so), then I completely lost it. I was stuck.

I failed at getting his internet connection working. *cry!*

Last I saw him, Nolan was with him getting his internet up, and Dylan (or Dustin, can't remember) was also going into his room saying he couldn't get the Mac in his hands to work either. Probably his, so they're all struggling. And so am I, cuz I'm not smart enough to work a damn Mac. Gahhh!

Ahh well. At least I tried. Just have to remind myself that I should be proud that I could at least get the anti-virus software downloaded for him. :P

College. Is. AWESOME!

Ok, so classes officially started today at 4 pm, but since I don't have anything that late, wellllll I don't start till tomorrow at 11 am for Calc...But no matter! Because I've been having a BLAST getting to meet new people! :D

Of the people I have met, two guys have really stuck out in my head, Darren and Brian. Darren used to work for Wall Drug in the summer and used to play football (maybe even basketball), and was named homecoming king of his rather small school. Yes, he is HOT, and I think he's an absolute sweetie. Then Brian has actually lived all over the world, yes world, and had last lived in the Phillippines where he was considered of legal age to drink...odd fact, but ah well...and Brian also is going into the Army. Whoa! :O

And Keather as my roommate....bah, don't get me started there. It's not that she's a horrible roommate, it's just....she's clingy, and I really want to make my own friends.

But I will dwell on that later, right now I'm gonna get ready for our floor meeting coming up in 15. Sweet! :D

When Mods Are Just Too Damn Lazy

It's official. I think every moderator lurking on a forum of any kind can kiss my ass.

First, they have yet to reply to my email at the Dark-Hunter BBS. All righty then, you don't want to respond? Then I'll keep on posting in the help center, pointing out that they've yet to reply. It'll be a month and I'll have to go "Hey, it's been a month now, what's the deal?"

Second, EA has banned the notable aarin. Fuck that. At least aarin was helpful. Most others just have fun picking fights amongst each other to the point that both sides should be banned. But nope, they ban aarin instead, all because she mentioned a no CD crack from awesomemod. Gag me. Ah, and not just any ban. PERMABAN.

Oh well. Assholes.

Feels good to swear at least. :)

Major Shopping Spree Day

Today was an epic shopping spree day, yes! We ended up stopping at a half dozen stores looking for the perfect mini fridge for the dorm, but it was worth it in the end. Before that though, we stopped at Kohl's for some new jeans.....went to Dunn Bros for some downtime....got the mini fridge at Walmart, which is actually 2.7 cubic feet, larger than the 1.7 I was going to settle for, hells yeah! Then went to Lewis where I picked up a couple notebooks and a new book. Geeze, I swear the entire city is sold out of normal Five Star 5 subject notebooks....college ruled, mind you.

Soooo anyways, the book I picked up was Black Hills, by Nora Roberts. Now mind you, I HATE Roberts. I did buy one of her books before, but I never actually read it...and I also am not a fan of her popularity. As in, stores will buy her books by the truckload and sell them at the top of the bookshelves. They really don't need that many copies, seriously...

However, this book I shall definitely read. Not only is it hardcover and I plan on getting my money's worth, but it's set in, well, the Black Hills. Score 1 for the author who writes too much! :P

And on a more interesting note, it mentions a cougar in the description. I believe it's a pet cougar, or a rescued cougar or whatever, but I'm quite curious. There has actually been a population overflow, they're starting to wander away from the Hills searching for their own territory....a few livestock and pets have been killed by the crazy cougars....bah. Just random rambling there.

I shall head off now to eat, probably play more with The Sims 3. Yay for Grim babies growing up to be Grim boys! :)

Makin' Babies With Da Reaper! :O

The Sims 3 brings out the worst of me, I swear. Thanks to the new addiction of making Grim Reaper babies, I have now sounded more racist than I EVER have. I mean, the babies are BLACK! And even that sounds weird, because they aren't, at least not really...as in, if you mixed races, you usually get some version of brown, right? Here, they would make gray. It's THAT sort of black. Plus it's quite odd when it's bright and sunny out, and all you really see is their eyes... o.O

So to recap on my Grim baby experience: I had Grim move in, as per the demands of the new patch. Bah, certainly doesn't bother me, because Grim's about the hottest looking premade sim in the game. :O Anywaysss, it took a few tries, but I got mah girl pregnant. And lo and behold, the little baby boy was completely black! I was more surprised it happened on the first try, it's a 50-50 chance after all....and because I wanted a cool name, but couldn't think of one, I named it Valerius. I thought it was appropriate with the black skin/black additude type of thing. :P

Second try happened this morning. And they're twinssssss! :D Granted it took a LOT of TV and radio time, but I think it was worth it. They're both boys, one white, one black. I was rather bummed though, I wish I could see what they look like and who I'm naming. I was hoping that if I named one Kyrian, it'd be white, the opposite of Val. Again, very appropriate. Buuuut since I didn't know if I'd get white, much less twins, I just named it Kyrian on the spot. Then the name thing came up again for his twin, so I named that one Julian! :D

But oh well, Kyrian gets to be black like Val. Maybe that's supposed to be a lesson, that even though they hate each other, they're really not that much different. :O

I hate how racist this post sounds....but it's kinda funny too! No other way to describe them, really...bah.