I've been stressed beyond belief the past few days, it's crazy. Honestly, usually I can handle a test or two at a time.
Monday, I had three.
Wasn't supposed to have three, originally it would have been just one--Mass Comm. But the speech midterm was moved from Wednesday to Monday, and my Calc test was moved from Friday to Monday also. Plus, on top of these three tests, I had a Survey of Business test today. Holy shit, I've never been happier to not have a test coming up...
So, let's start with that. Sunday night, I spent the night studying with Jean for our speech midterm. It was quite enjoyable, even though I was up till 1 studying with them. Monday was freaking test day, so I tried to study quick before class started, then took the test. Wow, I'm really hoping I did all right on that multiple choice portion, because that essay part killed me...afterward, I studied for Calc. Barely finished that on time, and the last problem was a big struggle (primarily how to label it). Don't know why, but ah well. I just hope I did well on that test, too. Afterwards I ate quick, went to Honors Experience and talked a bunch, then had the mass comm test. That wasn't so bad, but it was definitely more difficult. I'd say it's because I had so little time to study for it, that really sucked. But I survived, and that's all that really matters. :P
Monday night, we had a Quiz Bowl against 2nd Olson, and that was amazing! Ryan was there too, which really made it all the more fun. And in the end, 2nd Beede won it. No surprise there I'd say! :) Later, I went to the Honors Association meeting with Jean and Jordan and brought my Apples to Apples game along. It was really awesome, not gonna lie! And it was a great way to wind down after the stressful day, even though it basically made my headache worse from all the laughing. Damn, that game is brilliant...Then I ended up studying with Jean again for Business, and Jordan there as an aside. Somehow, our study sessions don't turn out that way, and Jean usually ends up on some funky website like FML and starts reading them....but anyway. Note, I didn't get to go to bed till 1:45 because of this test now.
Technically Tuesday morning 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING. I'm sleeping, and all of a sudden I hear loud voices and the lights in our room turn on. WHAM, I'm awake, Keather's barging in with some 4 or 5 other people, and they're all talking and ushering Keather into the room. I smelled something when they walked in, and the best guess I had while half-asleep and completely dazed is that it was alcohol, and that they had been drinking. One of them had the nerve to ask how the Quiz Bowl went, because they had the signs still taped to the floor. Then the others ALSO had the nerve to tell me to make sure she made it into her loft all right--yet another reason why I'm convinced she was drinking last night.
I. Was. Pissed beyond fuck. And I still am. Honestly, 5 in the goddamn morning is ridiculous. And to make that much noise? More than a little rude, ESPECIALLY when I have a test that day. On top of that, I also had THREE FUCKING TESTS that previous day, and I was tired as fuck. I am so beyond pissed that I hope she read my status and saw how insulted I was. My God, I'm still fuming about it, and if it does happen again, I'm reporting to Cat and Brett about it. I don't mind if she's out late at night, but NOT when it means bringing a group of kids to our room making that much noise and TURNING THE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!
........
All right, I think I've calmed down a bit. Despite the LACK OF SLEEP I GOT LAST NIGHT...*ahem*....I think I did all right on the Business test. I'm nervous to see how I did though, the only paper and test we've done in the class, and I didn't do so hot on both of them. Ahh well. Now it's a wait for our Rock & Roll test, and I'm hoping I did well there, too. There were a few questions I knew I missed...so I'm just interested.
Anyway, it's now Tuesday night, and I'm watching season 2 of Monk with Andrew and Jacob. It's pretty awesome. But every once in a while, as the stress mounts and classes go on...the weeks drag on...I start losing hope little by little.
It's like, I've started to question why I'm in Honors...I'm not doing as well in my classes as I'd like to, at least that's how I feel. Especially as an Honors student, where we're supposed to be getting As and Bs, and I feel like I'm struggling just to get a B in all of my classes....I'm questioning whether I've made the friends I've made. Do I want to go party constantly? No. Do I desperately need the first guy I come across as a boyfriend? No. But would I like to have that guy I can rely on when I feel lonely?.....well, yeah. And there are guys I'm interested in--the guy who sits on the other end of our row in Mass Comm for one. Damn is he hot....but I'm almost certain he's 1) an upperclassman and 2) already taken and 3) so fucking out of my league that it's ridiculous. I could only wish I had a shot at him. Meanwhile, I spend the majority of my time hanging with guys who are already taken, aka Jacob and Chris. FML.
I've liked almost every person I've met here on campus. It's just that all the really great ones are already taken. I'm not complaining though, not too much.
It just feels like there's a moment or two where I wish there was someone I could really confide in. I have Chantel, yes, but she's also Keather's friend, and knowing those two they've probably already discussed my status. What I really need is....peace. A moment where I have no shit to do, where I might be able to read a book for fun for once.
I want to go home. Just for a few. I can't wait for the weekend, and it's only Tuesday. Fuck... :/
What I could really use is a night where I'm not woken up at 5 in the fucking morning. Now that'd be nice.
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