For Him

For the first time, I really, truly pity you right now. For a boy who hated high school, you have thrown yourself right back into it with the bullshit this girl has dished out. The only approval you've ever declared has involved sex. Yet every time you make a comment elsewhere, it's insulting.

"Guys if you are single. Take my advice...Keep it that way."

"Save me."

"Time to go call all the women I've wanted to have sex with then."

You put yourself into a relationship with a girl who's stuck in high school thinking it's fucking cute to go on your Facebook and leave statuses in all CAPS and call you Broski. I can literally feel the anger, frustration, tense pent-up emotions inside you through your every Facebook post, Tumblr reblog, Instagram pic...and it's starting to affect me, too. This girl has infiltrated your mind, inserted negativity and caustic sarcasm that is not like your quick wit. And the longer she sits there, the more things deteriorate. You are dating your mother, simple as that.

You know I'm right, don't you. You think you can handle her quirks and her baggage so that you can have a little bit of companionship and all the sex you want. But in the back of your mind, you knew I'd see through the bullshit. You knew I wouldn't approve of her. And now that she's here, you'll use anything against me to make me look like the bad guy for keeping tabs on her, for exhibiting hints of jealousy before you two became official, for loving you so intensely.

I want my man back. The one who flirted with me because it was the truth. The one who never hesitated to tell me 'I love yo face' because hell, you have a shirt that says it to everyone. You can tell the entire world you love their faces but you can't tell me? Fuck that. I want back the man who adored his job so much that he'd share previews of what he did when they upload to YouTube. I want back the boy who genuinely talked to me, not out of obligation or anything.

I'm entirely scared that I'm partly to blame. For not showing you how much you mean to me in person. Or something. Maybe I suck at sex, so what. I'm terrified that I'm boring to you now that I've fallen into this depressive phase, or suddenly because I've graduated but don't have a job you somehow see that as a failure. But fuck that too. Your girlfriend spends more time bitching about how much she hates her job and hates the customers. Guess what, I hate those types of people.

I'm so goddamn tired.