Gawd, sometimes I love friends, and sometimes I don't. They're able to talk you into thinking sensibly, and then they make you think irrational things.
Long story short, talking with the other immigrant Sures, who is a close friend of HCB's, has given me quite the confidence boost. As in he (and very possibly Trapper, since he mentioned something about him being present at the Facebook chat also) actually thinks that it's not a case of when Matt will say no...but if. And that is the complete opposite of what I've been thinking all along. Or so it has felt like the past few days.
And then he dropped the bomb, saying that he was sure Matt would kiss me anytime.
What.
The.
Fuck.
FUUUUUUUUUUU-- Thanks for giving me way too much hope there, seriously! It's bad enough that Sures had to go and make me feel all good by telling me I had a great personality and stuff like that...
It's still an iffy situation. I told him of my plan, and he said that I should go for it. He said that they've got my back. Who 'they' is, I'm not so sure, but it feels nice to imagine that it's the Burgess/Norton complex in general.
I still wish I had enough confidence to tell myself that I was able to top California. I still wish I could think that there was the chance that he would in fact say yes. I'm slowly trying, though. And if things go bad....then I still have the staff there for me. And my friends, who I can never owe enough to. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment