Today, I feel like swearing.
Fuck. Fuckity fuckfuckfuck. Fucking hell, fuckin' a, faaaaaaaaack...
Hell.
In some 8 days, I'm throwing it all away. Because honestly, he's not going to talk to me after I tell him. I spent an hour and a half with Skye talking about it fucking all. And her vote was that it's not over till there's a ring. But that's going to be difficult for me. I'm having a hard enough time coping with the sudden realization that I lost, and I lost badly.
But the thing is, there was nothing I could fucking do. Absolutely fucking nothing. Skye said I was right for not saying anything, but there was nothing I could do. I was stuck in this godforsaken job, and California Dumbass who can't even figure out her own goddamn camera was free, fucking hell fuck....I am in this fucking job. And we are for the next 8 days. Or 9 days, whatever the fuck it is.
I'm so fucking pissed, I'm considering pulling a Lindsay when the opportunity arises. Oh, you're not getting much work done? Yeah, that's kinda hard to do with all that time you spend at the "library", those Norton dorms are pretty small...fucking bastard.
And the best part of it is? I've known from the beginning that he's an asshole. And he's going to fuck over a dumbass blonde Cali girl, because that's what he goes for...damn, for a few moments there, I felt kinda nice.
Hey, I think that made me feel a little better....she's interested in a fucking asshole. She's with a bastard. She's with someone who has the potential to ruin everything.
And because I'm equally the bitch that he's an asshole, I'm going to throw it all away on his last day. Thanks to Skye, she told me that I might as well just set him aside that last day, tell him to shut up, I don't want to see or hear your reaction, I just need to get it out. Fuck me, fuck my life, fuck me sideways, but I like him. Too much for my own good. And then I walk out.
Because I know he's not going to talk to me afterwards when I say something. But if I don't say anything, he won't speak to me anyway. He's not going to make an effort outside of the CA job to talk to me, unless I find him at the MUC or something like that. 8 days left in the job, and I've yet to see the inside of his apartment. Go figure.
Girls may be confusing, but he's Pandora's Fucking Box.
:c
ReplyDeletePretty much. And it still makes no fucking sense. Wednesday night, he didn't bother to ask why I was still studying at the front desk with him at 5am. Tonight, he asked Cali Brandie why she was at the front desk when she stopped by on her way through, which was 1) parking and 2) milk at the store. Three minutes later, he's asking her again why she hasn't gotten her milk yet.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet the rumor is that he's taken her out to dinner. Make some sense, yo. Before I go and fuck everything up by telling you right before I leave for winter break. :/